Work and play never mix well

Based on five women’s complaints, Virginia Beach, Va., police arrested restaurateur Henry Fitzsimmons, 54, for abduction and sexual assault for harshly beating them as punishment for violating the terms of the “scholarship” he supposedly offered them.
The women claim that Fitzsimmons is a devotee of the “Spencer Plan” of orderly discipline, in which contracting parties adhere to agreed-on roles but at a cost of being physically disciplined if they fail.
Fitzsimmons acknowledged his fascination with the Spencer Plan, but denied the assaults, pointing out that he had fired one of the women and that the other four were helping her retaliate.
Hey, the miss
could have been
more unfortunate   
Former Camden, N.J., police Sgt. Jeffrey Frett pleaded guilty in a scheme to qualify for early retirement by arranging to be shot in the leg (to be attributed to random street violence).
The plan deteriorated, police said, when Frett’s wife (the designated shooter) missed his leg, merely ripping a hole in his uniform pants.
So many
bad ideas
were involved
Ryan Martin, 29, and Erica Clayburn, 20, were charged with reckless endangerment in Derry Township, Pa., after Martin was shot in the jaw.
The couple were playing a game resembling “Marco Polo” with a loaded handgun, with an eyes-closed Clayburn firing when Martin shouted “Gun!”
Martin was supposed to duck out of the way before Clayburn pulled the trigger.
(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa Fla. 33679 or go to www.newsoftheweird.com.)