The universe's comedy God has answered prayers of comedians everywhere who seek a sure-fire punch line: He has given them Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. Ford has become a living unfunny joke.
The federal Healthcare.gov website, serving 36 states that chose not to build their own sites, has been - to quote its boss, Kathleen Sebelius - a "debacle." Its estimated cost to taxpayers stands at $394 million so far and will likely rise as the "tech surge" pours millions of additional taxpayer dollars into trying to fix the site. But federal taxpayers are on the hook for a sum more than 10 times greater - $4.3 billion - for state exchange websites. And some of them are even more spectacular failures than the federal site.
Ideology is such an abomination, President Obama rages against those he believes are guided by different ideas of governance.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Exclusive Excerpt from: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom Purcell
Based on the election results in New Jersey and Virginia, the Republicans have stark choices going forward: They can nominate candidates with crossover appeal - and win. Or they can continue to nominate right-wing extremists - and lose.
A Wall Street friend told me he thinks that the October Bureau of Labor Statistics report's deceptions are so great that Disneyland must have written it. For the umpteenth straight month, the mainstream media cherry-picked the handful of positive statistics but buried profoundly troubling data.
This Veteran's Day, I want to thank all of those who have warn the uniform in service to our nation. Every November 11 we come together to honor their service and their sacrifice. And most important, to thank them.
It's a good thing he slimmed down because he's running. The worst-kept secret in politics is clearly now even less of a secret. With his whopping re-election win, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is in 2016 Republican Presidential nomination-seeking mode. The only questions are whether he'll do it his way (center right), or eventually the base's way (inch far right) -- and whether he'll prove to be another Bill Clinton or another Rudy Giuliani.
Roughly 15 million people watched each of the six games between Boston and St. Louis on TV last month, while here in the Phoenix metroplex a concurrent amateur World Series sparked every bit as much passion, maybe even more, among 324 adult baseball teams.
Because of a regulation designed to make nearly every plan rapidly lose grandfather status, millions of Americans have received letters informing them their health plans have been canceled. Many of them are unable to even get through the first steps of Healthcare.gov to see what their options there are, and others who are able to see their options are finding they have to pay more and may lose their doctors.
Dear American citizens:
No, this is not The Onion. No, this is not a rip-off of The Onion. This is not satire. This is the plea from Iraq's Prime Minister, Minister of the Interior, Minister of Defense and the Minister of National Security Affairs. All of whom happen to be the same person: Nouri al-Maliki.
President Obama "didn't know" his IRS was targeting conservative groups, successfully impeding their ability to promote policies he opposes.
Dear Mr. President,
Remarkable new wonder drugs have caused a new confrontation over pricing wars between manufacturers and health plans, now reaching a fever pitch over hepatitis C treatments from Gilead. Unfortunately, rather than the industry players settling the issue through negotiation, health plans are turning to Congress to step in and arbitrarily limit prices, which could undermine the investment that is critical to developing new cures.
As the Giants and the Royals went at it, the bigger game for some fans took place in the hours before the first World Series pitch, playing baseball's season ticket-holder roulette.
Here it comes. Creeping down dark alleys. Overturning garbage cans and spooking black cats. The scariest day of the year. With the exception of your next birthday, that is. Halloween. All Hallow's Eve. The night preceding All Saint's Day. Time to carve a gourd.
The media has been obsessed this week with Renee's Zellweger's new face, with articles quoting plastic surgeons on why she doesn't look like herself. Zellweger says she looks different because she's happy now and doesn't admit to having plastic surgery.
We all know what an act of Islamic terrorism is - except for our lame duck-in-chief, that is.
Is Mel Brooks smiling?
If more Americans were self-employed independent contractors, the country would soar.
"Ewww!" said my wife, when I told her that BrandsOnSale.com is marketing leftover "Breaking Bad" meth lab hazmat suits as Ebola Containment Suits this Halloween, at $79.99 a pop.
Everything you need to know about Bruce Braley was made clear by the candidate himself in a thirty-seven second video of him speaking to his real constituents - his fellow trial lawyers - at a fundraiser in Texas.
Let's take a break from our Ebola freakout and debate something a bit more benign - like word usage. For instance, why do we keep using czar?
How much would you borrow to buy something that you would never use and might kill you and everyone around you? If we're talking about Uncle Sam's outdated and useless nuclear arsenal, the price tag is $1.1 trillion. A better-and cheaper-idea might be doing what Barack Obama, Ronald Reagan and a host of others wanted to do in the first place: Get rid of nuclear weapons.
Former Clinton Administration Labor Secretary Robert Reich recently called on the government to force young people to spend two years either "serving" in the military or performing some other type of government-directed "community service." Neoconservative Senator John McCain has introduced legislation creating a mandatory national service program very similar to Reich's proposal. It is not surprising that both a prominent progressive and a leading neocon would support mandatory national service, as this is an issue that has long united authoritarians on the left and right.
Arrogance doesn't sit well with most Americans for very long.
"Politicize" is a jab meaning the other side is trying to capitalize on a news topic. "The Republicans have tried to politicize the border crisis," says Nancy Pelosi. Reince Priebus says Democrats are trying to politicize Benghazi. Jay Carney says Republicans are trying to politicize Benghazi. Steny Hoyer says Republicans are trying to politicize the VA scandal. Rush Limbaugh says Democrats politicize EVERYTHING.
Add Ebola to our long and growing list of federal screw-ups.