As a former Marine Corps combat engineer, I appreciate Army general George S. Patton, Jr. Just before his troops stormed Normandy beaches to help liberate Europe, he gave them a rousing speech. The general reminded them that they had all "admired the champion marble player, the fastest runner . . . and the All-American football players." General Patton's inspirational point? "Americans love a winner."
All those union thugs who were rioting in Michigan Tuesday were angry about the wrong thing.
The saddest Christmas experience I ever had was helping a friend bury her 16-month-old son the day after Christmas. He died on Dec. 22, 1999. I learned about it the next day, late at night, after I finished tucking my youngest daughter, one years old that day, into bed. I went downstairs to check my e-mail, and there it was – he most solemn letter I've ever read, from a distraught friend who knew no ...
When tragic deaths occur under intense media scrutiny, there is often a reflexive grasp at greater meaning. But our pent-up desire to address serious, overarching problems, sometimes leads to a flood of misdirected emotion and protest.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? North Korea will test-fire a long-range ICBM missile Monday on the first anniversary of the death of their leader Kim Jong Il. The little country is nothing if not competitive. According to North Korea's news agency Kim Jong Il didn't die, he entered a sleeping contest. NFL arbitrator Paul Tagliabue overturned the suspension of four New Orleans Saints for receiving bounty payments from coaches for extra hard ...
Exclusive Excerpt: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom Purcell
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? McDonald's announced a huge increase in sales in November after its first-ever drop in October. There are three reasons for the rebound in world sales. McDonald's officials chalked it up to increased TV advertising, new dessert items and Colorado legalizing weed. PBS announced Sesame Street will teach kids about divorce and how it's never their fault. PBS is such a waste of money. Sesame Street turns children ...
"I'm not sure I have the energy to keep up." "Ah, yes, you speak of the latest self-created crisis in our government, what some refer to as the 'fiscal cliff.' If Congress and the president don't agree to new terms on spending and taxes, the Budget Control Act of 2011 will automatically go into effect." "And then the sky will fall?" "It won't be pretty. A number of tax breaks, such as the Bush tax ...
First a disclaimer: The Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2012 should not under any circumstances be confused with the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of 2012. They are as different as red satin cummerbunds and Liar's Dice. Duck liver and Spanish moss. Matched pearl necklaces and motorcycle handlebars.
In response to an increasing demand for bachelor's degrees, community colleges in more than a dozen states have expanded their programs to include career-oriented, four-year degrees. Advocates say these programs – which typically require approval from state lawmakers – better respond to student and employer needs by providing affordable bachelor's degrees.
BEVERLY HILLS - God bless America, and how's everybody? Time magazine's cover story on NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell floated the idea of replacing the kickoff. During kickoff, three-hundred-pound men crash into each other sprinting at full speed. It is so violent that Bob Costas just suggested they use guns instead. Mercedes-Benz announced Thursday its engineers have developed a new technology that might allow drivers to look at Facebook on the windshield while they are driving. ...
Help us, we're falling and we can't get up again. Once upon a time -- in 1988 and 1998 to be exact -- the United States was the best country for a baby to be born and raised in, at least according to The Economist magazine. But the 2013 edition of the magazine's "where-to-be-born" index has us down at No. 16 -- tied with Germany and one spot ahead of the United Arab Emirates. Switzerland, ...
I won a jackpot on Thanksgiving. I didn't even have to pay a buck to do it either--who says you have to play to win? We visited mom, now retired for two years this New Years Eve. As it turns out, she's taken to retirement very well, and plans to make a career of it. Because of this, her wardrobe needs have changed slightly, which is where my jackpot comes in.
Dear Editor, Seventy-one years ago, the morning of Dec. 7, the sky over Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, was filled with Japanese planes. When the last of attacking aircraft rejoined the Japanese fleet, 1,178 lay wounded and 2,403 lay dead or dying. A great portion of the U.S. Pacific fleet was in shambles. Thus began America's entry into World War II--five years that changed the world. The United States returned from World War II as the world's ...
Are we seeing the beginning of the end of Syria's detestable Bashar-al Assad regime -- or the beginning of a new international crisis swirling around it? Or both?
Back in elementary school when I was hand-writing my newspaper The Lewisburg Snoopy Nose, I never dreamed what sort of tools journalists would be using today.
Clearly, it MUST have been a video produced by America's enemies, a vicious piece of propaganda that was so outlandish it would have brought laughs 10 years ago. No one except indoctrinated citizens of communist countries would ever believe it.
In the week following Halloween, Jimmy Kimmel's stunt involving kids and their candy climbed to over 20 million views on YouTube. But public fascination with the gag doesn't change the fact that it is cruel and sadistic. It underscores the worst elements of mass media and social media, and the incendiary possibilities of combining the two.
God bless America, and how's everybody?
Here we go again. Pointing to a conservative study, Gov. Rick Perry proclaimed, "The discussion's over. The debate's over. The proof is in. Texas wins." And who did we beat? California, of course. It's enough to make you wonder if little Ricky got enough love growing up on the dirt farm. Someone get this kid a 4-H ribbon so the grownups can talk, because we've got some work to do.
I've heard a lot of interesting stories of people trying, and failing, to sign up for ObamaCare, but this one takes the cake.
Ahh. Thanksgiving. Best Holiday Ever! Love it all. The fact that a national holiday falls not on a Monday but a Thursday. How wacky is that? A regular Thursday in dead-solid center fall. Where the weather could be 80 and sunny, or 20 and snowing. Or, in certain parts of the Midwest, both.
Since June when the Senate passed the Border Security, Economic Opportunity and Immigration Modernization bill, tens of thousands of stories and broadcasts have been devoted to comprehensive immigration reform. Yet only a handful have outlined the bill's most crucial feature, namely that it will in most cases give immediate legal status and therefore work authorization to between 11-20 million illegal immigrants. On top of that, 20 million more overseas workers will be issued non-immigrant work ...
If this column needs a subtitle, let it be "Where The Rubber Meets The Vinyl."
It's been an up and down, rough and tumble, crazy, sad, frustrating year for America the Beautiful so far.
Sure, the country isn't doing so well at the moment, but there are still plenty of reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving.
As I have done at Thanksgiving for many years, I want to proclaim some of the things for which I am thankful on this uniquely American holiday.
It's not every day that Democrats and Republicans get to shake their fist in the same direction. That honor goes to Education Secretary Arne Duncan whose insult against "white, suburban moms" whose "child isn't as brilliant as they thought they were" has sparked outrage from the tea party to teachers unions-not to mention the PTA moms who are heavily invested in their children's schooling. Sec. Duncan is still walking back his remarks, but if a ...
The saying, "A picture is worth 1000 words" is so true. In the case of my four month old grandson, we have a book started. Still nothing compares to actually holding, squeezing his chubby legs, or getting Bob to laugh out loud. As we enter the holiday season, families across the country hardly need a reminder that November 24th through the 30th is designated as National Family Week.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?