"Waaaaa! You're not playing fair!"
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
"DEAR COLUMNIST: I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say the government shutdown will last a long time, America will default on its debt and our economy and the world economy will nosedive. They say conservative Republicans are bullying the America political system and economy in way that doesn't fit with how democracy is defined in my history books. My father says President Barack Obama and the Democrats started it and want the government shut down and a default. Papa says 'If you see it on Fox News, read it on a conservative website, or if ...
It was Cory Booker's constant sneering attack in the first New Jersey U.S. Senate debate - Steve Lonegan is a "tea party leader." What does that mean?
Reasonable people compromise. Unreasonable people do not. Instead, they trample over those around them to selfishly get their way. And the government is shut down this chilly October day in 2013 because unreasonable Democrats behaving like spoiled children would rather refuse treatment to terminally ill children, ravage the economy, disparage veterans and make the rest of our lives miserable -- than compromise.
I remember when a billion used to be a number so big nobody could comprehend it, though it is still a massive number.
The federal government shutdown has made me sick of politics. For a political columnist, this can be tricky, but taking a break from politics also offers an opportunity. This week, I thought I would write a column about what I've learned as a father of two spirited boys, and offer my advice on how to handle tantrums.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Government's closed, everybody! Go home. Except Congress, that is, whose members are still getting paid, classified as "essential workers." Although right now, neither one of those words seems very apt or ept. Unapt and inept is more like it. Inapt? Unept?
Exclusive Excerpt from: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom Purcell
On October 5, as part of their ceaseless demand that Congress passes comprehensive immigration reform, illegal aliens and their advocates will hold a National Day of Dignity and Respect. Their goal is to achieve immediate legal status, with work authorization, and eventual citizenship. If successful, at least 11 million aliens would compete with Americans for the handful of available jobs.
Arrogance is like a cancer. Once it lodges itself in the heart and mind, there's not much you can do as it begins to permeate the entire body with an inordinate sense of self-worth, significance, and position.
Q: Is the government too big and powerful? Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?
Ted Cruz said he would go to Washington to change Washington. Well, he's done it. He's united Democrats and more than a few Senate Republicans in hatred of Texas' very junior senator and your new 2016 GOP frontrunner. But as much as Cruz sincerely drives me nuts, he might be the best thing that has happened to Democrats since the last big government shutdown.
Remarkable new wonder drugs have caused a new confrontation over pricing wars between manufacturers and health plans, now reaching a fever pitch over hepatitis C treatments from Gilead. Unfortunately, rather than the industry players settling the issue through negotiation, health plans are turning to Congress to step in and arbitrarily limit prices, which could undermine the investment that is critical to developing new cures.
As the Giants and the Royals went at it, the bigger game for some fans took place in the hours before the first World Series pitch, playing baseball's season ticket-holder roulette.
Here it comes. Creeping down dark alleys. Overturning garbage cans and spooking black cats. The scariest day of the year. With the exception of your next birthday, that is. Halloween. All Hallow's Eve. The night preceding All Saint's Day. Time to carve a gourd.
The media has been obsessed this week with Renee's Zellweger's new face, with articles quoting plastic surgeons on why she doesn't look like herself. Zellweger says she looks different because she's happy now and doesn't admit to having plastic surgery.
We all know what an act of Islamic terrorism is - except for our lame duck-in-chief, that is.
Is Mel Brooks smiling?
If more Americans were self-employed independent contractors, the country would soar.
"Ewww!" said my wife, when I told her that BrandsOnSale.com is marketing leftover "Breaking Bad" meth lab hazmat suits as Ebola Containment Suits this Halloween, at $79.99 a pop.
Everything you need to know about Bruce Braley was made clear by the candidate himself in a thirty-seven second video of him speaking to his real constituents - his fellow trial lawyers - at a fundraiser in Texas.
Let's take a break from our Ebola freakout and debate something a bit more benign - like word usage. For instance, why do we keep using czar?
How much would you borrow to buy something that you would never use and might kill you and everyone around you? If we're talking about Uncle Sam's outdated and useless nuclear arsenal, the price tag is $1.1 trillion. A better-and cheaper-idea might be doing what Barack Obama, Ronald Reagan and a host of others wanted to do in the first place: Get rid of nuclear weapons.
Former Clinton Administration Labor Secretary Robert Reich recently called on the government to force young people to spend two years either "serving" in the military or performing some other type of government-directed "community service." Neoconservative Senator John McCain has introduced legislation creating a mandatory national service program very similar to Reich's proposal. It is not surprising that both a prominent progressive and a leading neocon would support mandatory national service, as this is an issue that has long united authoritarians on the left and right.
Arrogance doesn't sit well with most Americans for very long.
"Politicize" is a jab meaning the other side is trying to capitalize on a news topic. "The Republicans have tried to politicize the border crisis," says Nancy Pelosi. Reince Priebus says Democrats are trying to politicize Benghazi. Jay Carney says Republicans are trying to politicize Benghazi. Steny Hoyer says Republicans are trying to politicize the VA scandal. Rush Limbaugh says Democrats politicize EVERYTHING.
Add Ebola to our long and growing list of federal screw-ups.