It's the ultimate stomach turner: how Carnival's 893-foot long cruise ship Triumph, along with its 4,200 passengers, was stranded due to a fuel engine leak for five days with no food, little water and few working bathrooms. Passenger cell phone photos showed slews of plastic bags brimming with human waste, and lumpy, raw sewage floating in big puddles.
Boy, do I feel sorry for smokers these days.
From what little I can remember from when I remained awake in high school and college, William Shakespeare loved mistaken identities, crossed purposes and scheming villains. Shakespeare would have loved Elizabeth Warren, Richard Shelby and Wall Street bankers.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Relax. It's not necessarily the flu making you confused and feverish. Could be spatter from that big, thick, juicy, new, improved Civil War infecting the Republican Party. Yes, again. The Rebs inside the Reds are rebooting themselves for the umpteenth time over the past few election cycles. Have to assume these self-proclaimed frugal guys purchased their huge caches of defibrillators and CPR paddles in bulk. "CLEAR!"
Our failure in chief gave us his annual blurred vision of America again Tuesday night.
With an editorial titled "Pope Sets Example For Other Aging Leaders," USA Today tried laying a major guilt trip on the nation's authority figures.
Beef contaminated with horsemeat has sparked a multi-nation controversy in Europe.
"What do you mean America's youth don't know who George Washington was?"
The Obama administration seems to have gone Jack Bauer on us, which would be okay if we were just talking about non-American enemy combatants on some far-flung battlefield.
HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody?
It's Nixon's fault.
Yes, the Dodge trucks commercial using the late Paul Harvey's 1978 speech "So God Made A Farmer" resonated with millions of viewers and was voted one of the most popular Super Bowl spots; but "the rest of the story" is not so pretty.
"I do skeet shooting."
The bosses of the Boy Scouts of America surprised everyone this week by postponing their decision on whether to allow gay leaders and gay Scouts to join their ranks.
Quite simply, from pharmaceuticals to motion pictures to software, India is stealing our stuff. India ranks dead last among major economies in protection of intellectual property rights, according to a comprehensive analysis by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. And despite lots of talk and visits from Secretary of State John Kerry and Vice President Joe Biden last year, India's respect for property rights has only continued to deteriorate. It's time for the administration to get tough and designate India as a Priority Foreign Country in its 2014 Special 301 Report, making clear that India will suffer consequences ...
Today I am announcing a new venture to grow aspara-berries. These tasty and nutritious hybrid plants combine the best features of asparagus and strawberries to create a mouthwatering treat.
You'd think Americans have enough stuff to worry about. Severe drought desiccating a third of the country. A political system whose major talent is demonstrating stasis in action. The rich using the poor as fleshy paving stones for the road to mansions on the hill. Ben Affleck as Batman.
Have you heard we live in an oligarchy? Perhaps you've been told America is a plutocracy? Is that because of widespread demagogy?
Be careful, Pennsylvania people.
This week, Hank Aaron broke the hearts of millions of Republicans and conservatives who supported him and cheered him on in 1974 while racists threatened his life.
Are hard-line Republican conservatives about to implement their own version of political entitlement reform? Are we now witnessing the beginning of the fall of the House of Bush?
The Blood Moon on Monday night might have brought on the apocalypse, because a rash of stupidity in politics seems to have infected this great land of ours. When you have one major political party winning the argument against evolution, brainless is the new black. But if Republicans define dumb down any more, soon they'll have to apply for drilling rights.
Everett Dirksen and his fellow moderate Republicans (a now virtually extinct species) transcended partisanship in 1964 and supplied the key votes to pass the historic Civil Rights Act. Now flash forward 50 years. Can you imagine how today's Republicans would respond if a major civil rights bill was on the table?
OCEAN CITY, N.J - Everyone loves a parade, or so they say, and by Labor Day practically every town and village in America will have one. They could all learn something from the way folks here conduct a mid-April oddity called the Doo Dah Parade.
"I can't believe it. The wife and I owe the IRS again!"
In a move as surprising as limos at a state funeral the GOP has misplaced their ticket for the clue train. Yes, again. Just when you think they get it, party leaders move heaven and earth and that place due south to prove that not only do they not get it, they have never gotten it and aren't really comfortable around people who do get it. One suspects, secretly, they don't want it.
It was 2007 and we were all gathered around the kitchen table. It was my husband; his parents, Frank and Rachel (not their real names); and me spending a Sunday afternoon catching up. Everyone, it seemed at that time, had just bought a house. Their modest three-bedroom tract home, which they were a year from paying off, was now worth half-a-million dollars.
If you're reading this, I'm sorry I didn't get your name, but I wish to thank you for returning the cellphone I left in your taxi. Moreover, I want to explain how you and several others at LAX provided a refresher course in good nature.
Exclusive Excerpt from: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom Purcell