SAN JOSE, Calif. - All I know about climate, some say, is what's outside my window.
Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who lived on a farm past the woods. She was friends with a bossy but politically connected pig, a groveling sheep who worked as a flunky for the village and a scared little mouse who specialized in running away and hiding. Hey. Sometimes your friends are whoever lives on the farm next to you.
Anyone who has even bothered to read my columns over the last decade-plus knows I was never a huge fan of George W. Bush. I have always believed that the 43rd president was a decent man who tried to do the right thing but often failed, either because of bad advice or flawed ideology - or both. That said, Barack Obama has carried Bush bashing to a level that should astound all but the most hardened and cynical political observer.
Ownership changes at The Washington Post and Boston Globe have many people speculating anew about the future of newspapers. But whatever happens to these great publications probably won't mean much to you, me, or the paper that carries this column.
Whether you're arising from a long, luxurious sleep or frantically cleaning up melted crayons, surely you have a strong opinion on the cover story in the August 12 "Time" magazine: "The Childfree Life: When Having It All Means Not Having Children."
Too many of our political leaders see government as the solution to our challenges. If only they paid more consideration to what some of our great minds had to say about government.
Boy, are some Americans losing interest in marriage these days.
It's a classic case of deja vu, and you get that sinking, ominous feeling. And then a (momentarily) optimistic one.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Denise Romano would make a lousy terrorist. She has a severe chronic refractory cough that causes her to pass out several times a day. She uses a walker so she has something to lean on when she gets one of her coughing fits. She can't drive. During the "people's filibuster," she let protestors use the parking space at her condo two blocks from the capitol. As much as she wanted to join the protests, her body just couldn't take it. Online activism was her only outlet.
My son Gideon, age nine, is hog wild about the classic CBS sitcom "Green Acres," which counts the super-intelligent pig Arnold Ziffel among its characters.
Rush Limbaugh fielded a phone call the other day that even he couldn't answer.
They thought it was dead, but now it's coming back. The little theater, a dancehall named Oscar's Palladium on North Second Street in Sargent, Neb., had once been the scene of shows on a Midwest vaudeville circuit, then dances featuring big bands such as Tommy Dorsey's, then early rockers. And then it closed.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Dear Mom and Dad, It's been less than a week since you dropped me off at summer camp. You better come get me 'cause I'm in big trouble. On my first day, I was feeling homesick. So I found a piece of wood and began carving it with my Swiss Army knife the way Daddy showed me. Well, one of the counselors yelled at me to "freeze." He took my knife, then patted me down. Then he marched me off to the camp director. The director said, who did I think I was bringing a lethal weapon, a ...
If more Americans were self-employed independent contractors, the country would soar.
"Ewww!" said my wife, when I told her that BrandsOnSale.com is marketing leftover "Breaking Bad" meth lab hazmat suits as Ebola Containment Suits this Halloween, at $79.99 a pop.
Everything you need to know about Bruce Braley was made clear by the candidate himself in a thirty-seven second video of him speaking to his real constituents - his fellow trial lawyers - at a fundraiser in Texas.
Let's take a break from our Ebola freakout and debate something a bit more benign - like word usage. For instance, why do we keep using czar?
How much would you borrow to buy something that you would never use and might kill you and everyone around you? If we're talking about Uncle Sam's outdated and useless nuclear arsenal, the price tag is $1.1 trillion. A better-and cheaper-idea might be doing what Barack Obama, Ronald Reagan and a host of others wanted to do in the first place: Get rid of nuclear weapons.
Former Clinton Administration Labor Secretary Robert Reich recently called on the government to force young people to spend two years either "serving" in the military or performing some other type of government-directed "community service." Neoconservative Senator John McCain has introduced legislation creating a mandatory national service program very similar to Reich's proposal. It is not surprising that both a prominent progressive and a leading neocon would support mandatory national service, as this is an issue that has long united authoritarians on the left and right.
Arrogance doesn't sit well with most Americans for very long.
"Politicize" is a jab meaning the other side is trying to capitalize on a news topic. "The Republicans have tried to politicize the border crisis," says Nancy Pelosi. Reince Priebus says Democrats are trying to politicize Benghazi. Jay Carney says Republicans are trying to politicize Benghazi. Steny Hoyer says Republicans are trying to politicize the VA scandal. Rush Limbaugh says Democrats politicize EVERYTHING.
Add Ebola to our long and growing list of federal screw-ups.
In what has been a season of jaw-dropping news, the largest bombshell seems like it was ripped from the pages of Mad Magazine.
A garment that has elicited a lot of wolf whistles is turning 75 years old.
More secret money is being pumped into politics than ever before. For that ignominious milestone, we can thank Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts and his four Republican-appointed pals.
I'm starting to feel bad for President Obama, if you want to know the truth.
Race is one of those subjects that never seems to simmer down.
As America waits, ever patiently, for the economic recovery to trickle down to the rest of us, at least we won't have to worry about Kevin Cramer. This former radio host has figured out a way to get a piece of the pie not just for himself but for many of his relatives as well. Unfortunately, he's cashing in because he's a congressman, so his method probably won't work for us poor slobs who have to work for a living.