Archive By Section - Columnists
We don't really want to cut spending -- Friedeman
During the 2008 presidential campaign, Phil Gramm, one of John McCain's chief economic advisers, made the statement that "we are a nation of whiners." He, of course, took a lot of flak for that and eventually backed down from his statement.
President? What president? -- Argus Hamilton
LA JOLLA - God bless America, and how's everybody? President Obama went on ESPN Wednesday and announced his NCAA tournament's Sweet Sixteen picks. He loves sports. The closest he came to mentioning Japan was when he predicted that the Albuquerque Isotopes will win the Pacific Coast League this summer. Japan's earthquake shut down Toyota's Prius plant in northeastern Japan last week until further notice. It hit Al Gore pretty hard. The Prius is so environmentally ...
Boehner -- Don't fall for this trap
House Speaker John Boehner is falling for a trap, hook, line and sinker - and the Republican presidential nominee will reap the results of Boehner's folly.
Lemonade, and smiles, like grandma made -- Funt
PHOENIX – This is not about politics or the economy, at least not directly. This is about Lemonade. "Lemonade, lemonade, like grandma made!" For 26 years, Derrick Moore has been selling drinks at sports venues across the West, but quenching thirst is only part of his mission. Moore is arguably the nation's top ballpark vendor of smiles. Fans attending games in Arizona, Southern California and Nevada – over 250 events each year – often can't ...
Obama gas promise came true -- Susan Stamper Brown
Poor Peggy Joseph. Overwhelmed by the promise of hope after hearing an Obama campaign speech, Joseph said, "I never thought this day would ever happen. I won't have worry about putting gas in my car. I won't have to worry about paying my mortgage. You know, if I help Obama, he's gonna help me." Peggy kept her part of the bargain, but looking at food and gas prices lately, the day Peggy never thought would ...
Money get tighter all over --- Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? Long Island in New York joined Los Angeles and Hawaii as the first places with $4-a-gallon gas Tuesday. The subway saves you no money. The $300 a month you save on gasoline is replaced by the $300 a month you spend on pepper spray. California's San Onofre nuclear power plant was cited by anti-nuclear protesters for earthquake and radiation risks. The scare-mongering is over the top. People ...
Daylight Savings inconvenient nuisance -- Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? Daylight Savings Time took effect Sunday, robbing people of one hour's sleep in exchange for an extra hour of sunlight. Chaos ensued. Millions of Californians forgot to set their clocks ahead and were late to the drugstore Sunday in the scramble for iodine tablets. President Obama prompted anger Saturday for playing a round of golf while Japan exploded and Libya imploded. What happens to these guys in ...
Irish are 'out' again -- Purcell
Well, this takes the Irish cake. The Irish "need not apply" in America all over again. Ireland, you see, is not doing so well. Prior to the global economic meltdown, its service industry soared as global companies took advantage of its well-educated, English-speaking citizens. Emboldened by its good fortune, the Irish government, and many of its citizens, carried on like Americans. They overborrowed and overspent. A housing bubble formed and burst spectacularly. Now Ireland's unemployment ...
NPR triggers terrorist alarm with 'fertilizer'
BEVERLY HILLS - God bless America, and how's everybody? NPR asked its audience to call Congress and fight GOP efforts to end federal funding Friday, saying NPR gets criticized as often for being too conservative as they get criticized for being too liberal. The phones rang off the hook. The FBI had just issued a warning asking Americans to watch out for anybody using fertilizer for anything besides lawn care. President Obama held a press ...
America is too much like Sheen -- Browns
Watching Charlie Sheen's outbursts is a great entertainment for Americans. Here is a guy who has it all, fame, fortune, a great career and it is all crashing in on him because of addiction. We all know that Charlie Sheen is one 911 call from the morgue. He has made the ambulance trip before, and he doesn't see it coming. Denial is a classic symptom of drug addiction. Here is Charlie in his own words ...
Time to lead or get out of the way -- Mike Reagan
Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is getting away with murder because the president of the United States refuses to take action when that's exactly what is called for.
We’re winning, even if we’re losing
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? President Obama rolled out his new motto, "Winning the Future," on the campaign trail this week. The administration is beset by unemployment and mounting debts. As Lincoln once said, it's a government of Charlie Sheen, by Charlie Sheen and for Charlie Sheen. A White House memo noted a shortage of high schools seeking President Obama as a graduation speaker Tuesday. The security is such a hassle. The ...
Charlie Sheen is not a good role model -- Browns
Watching Charlie Sheen's outbursts is a great entertainment for Americans. Here is a guy who has it all, fame, fortune, a great career and it is all crashing in on him because of addiction. We all know that Charlie Sheen is one 911 call from the morgue. He has made the ambulance trip before, and he doesn't see it coming. Denial is a classic symptom of drug addiction. Here is Charlie in his own words ...
Iamgine that, Charlie Sheen got fired -- Argus Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? Charlie Sheen was fired from CBS's Two and a Half Men by Warner Brothers Monday after two weeks of crazy behavior. He's unemployed. If he hadn't had to give up his twin boys last week to Child Services he'd have had to give them up this week for a tank of gas. The White House considered tapping the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to increase U.S. oil supplies and ...
We got China beat at the game board -- Argus Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? The GAO reported Tuesday the current U.S. education system wastes billions using redundant programs. Forget classwork. China can never challenge us in satellite warfare as long as our educational system keeps churning out the world's best video game players. Britain threatened Moammar Khadaffi with a no-fly zone Monday and France threatened him with an arms embargo, while Germany threatened him with an economic blockade. The U.S. delivered ...
Articles by Section - Columnists
Man Bags for the Modern Male
Exclusive Excerpt from: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom Purcell
Watch the High Stakes Political and Media Credibility Game
Forget the political "blame game." The biggest game in town now is the credibility game -- a high-stakes exercise that will end with America's political middle deciding who is trustworthy and who isn't. Some key players:
Can I take a deduction for that?
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Learning From the Rise and Fall of Michelle Rhee
At some point, we need to stop believing in miracles, at least in education. While we're still getting over the RICO indictments handed down in the Atlanta cheating scandal comes the revelation that the success Michelle Rhee achieved as the "no excuses" superintendent of Washington, D.C.'s public schools was the product of massive cheating. Those asking why Rhee isn't under indictment just like her former colleague in Atlanta are missing the bigger question: If she's ...
Benghazi Smoke Screen
Up until about an hour ago, most Americans thought Benghazi was the guy who palled around with John Cassavetes back in the '60s, but now it's obvious we're talking about the foreign policy arm of a multi-ramped tar pit the president has found himself swimming -- up to his armpits. Yes, friends, it's pity time at the White House.
Scandal Advice from the Master
Bill Clinton, wearing a white toga and a crown of gold, sat in a garden while attractive women fed him grapes. President Obama, having just suffered the most devastating week of his presidency, sat nearby, seeking advice in the art of telling whoppers. Using the Socratic method of teaching, Clinton began to tutor his new student.
Our zoo is famous and other local news
Tying up a few loose ends on stories that didn't make the front page:
IRS Scandal another Reason Why We Need the Fair Tax
"It will create a bureaucracy with the efficiency of the Post Office, the frugality of the Pentagon and the compassion of the IRS."– Mantra of those who opposed HillaryCare in the 1990s.
The Government Can’t Be Trusted With Our Health
"We have a large government," political consultant David Axelrod offered as a plea of ignorance to all of the scandals swirling around his boss. "Part of being president is there's so much beneath you that you can't know because the government is so vast." And yet, thanks to Axelrod and Obama, we now stand on the precipice of the largest expansion of government power in almost half a century: Obamacare, officially known as the Patient ...
Speech to the Best Graduating Class Ever
Students, faculty, family members and friends, it is my great honor to deliver your commencement speech today.
Gang of Eight: Never Have So Few Told So Many Lies
For three more weeks, the Senate Judiciary Committee will debate the Border Security, Economic Opportunity and Immigration Modernization Act, S. 744. During the 45 years I've studied Washington politics, including 25 years of editorializing on the dreary subject, I can say without hesitation that no more anti-American legislation has ever been introduced.
The Second Term Curse Crashes Down on Barack Obama
You might say that May 10, 2013 was when the "second term curse" officially struck President Barack Obama -- and that May 13 was when it flattened him. Obama's administration has been hit with a triple whammy blast from a massive political stun gun.
It’s Harvest Time in Washington
Not even Barack Obama can defy the laws of physics.
The Batty Battalion
You do realize that Washington, D.C. is not the real world, don't you? It's a state of mind. An altered state of mind. Where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Slammed when you stand and rammed when you run. Berated if you lie and lambasted for the truth. Where even the slightest of breeze can carry the pollen of disaster. And the pack on top knows the best way to avoid ...
