Archive By Section - Columnists
Maybe beggars can be choosers
The ski-mask-wearing armed robber who knocked off a Wendy's in Atlanta this past summer has not been apprehended, but police said he later called the store to ridicule the staff for having so little cash.
It's time to think local -- Martha Carr
All across the nation the first Small Business Saturday is being reported as a financial home run for smaller, locally owned businesses.
New York tree lit without terrorism -- Argus Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? New Yorkers lit the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center on Tuesday. There was no terrorism threat. Local taxes just raised cigarette prices to $12 a pack, so the only Middle Eastern men left in New York are the ones with a serious stake in this country. WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange demanded Hillary Clinton resign Monday after he showed she spied on U.N. delegates. The next day Interpol ...
Washington still trying to plug the leaks -- Argus Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? Hillary Clinton flew overseas Tuesday to repair U.S. relations with other nations after the WikiLeaks revelations. Her touch is legendary. When Hillary was a practicing lawyer in Arkansas she once got a client's parking ticket reduced to second-degree manslaughter. WikiLeaks revealed Monday that the U.S. was weighing transferring terror suspects from Guantanamo to Illinois State Prison. They'd like it there. Illinois has the cleanest and best-run prisons ...
You can't borrow your way out of debt -- Browns
During this Christmas season of cheer and good tidings, a universal message is going forth.
Obama reacts to cyber terrorism -- Argus Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? President Obama expressed anger Monday over the leaked WikiLeaks documents revealing the secret content of trans-Atlantic State Department cables. He is livid. Obama left specific directions that the U.S. and Britain were not to run the world. Hillary Clinton was revealed by WikiLeaks Monday to have ordered U.S. diplomats to spy on U.N. delegates from other countries. She wanted to know everything. When you've been with Bill ...
Black Friday leaves folks cranky -- Argus Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? Black Friday beckoned Americans to the mall to help save the economy Friday. It's a cranky day. You are never more indignant than when you're shopping in a store you feel is beneath you and one of the other customers mistakes you for a salesperson. Beverly Hills put up its Christmas lights Friday, luring shoppers from all over the world to Rodeo Drive. It's not a very ...
With his approval rating, he has a right to worry -- Argus Hamilton
BEVERLY HILLS - God bless America, and how's everybody? The White House was evacuated Tuesday when a small plane accidentally wandered over the mansion. It was just a student pilot in a Cessna. The kid was flying directly over the United States so President Obama was never in any danger of being struck by the plane. Obama slipped to the lowest approval rating of his presidency at 39 percent in the Zogby poll Tuesday. What ...
So much to be thankful for -- Peter Funt
This year, I'm thankful that this year many merchants were considerate enough to begin Christmas sales shortly after Columbus Day to avoid interfering with Halloween and Thanksgiving.
North Korea plans are hard to come by -- Argus Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? President Obama taped an interview with this week in which he revealed he has Stevie Wonder, the Rolling Stones, and Bob Dylan on his iPod. Unfortunately the interview question asked him what he planned to do about North Korea. Senate Republicans proposed a bill Tuesday to scale back the health care reform law. Doctors are experiencing a huge increase in demand for medical services. Tiger Woods is ...
We still can't let terrorists win -- Mike Reagan
Four years ago I had hip replacement surgery - which involves having an implant containing metal - and that means that every time I fly, which is often, a Transportation Safety Administration employee passes a wand over my body to be sure I'm not concealing some explosive device on my person.
It was the best Thanksgiving ever -- Tom Purcell
"I was in no mood to celebrate Thanksgiving this year. We were hurting financially and the wife was driving me nuts trying to cut down on costs."
Get the most out of Thanksgiving -- Martha Carr
Most Americans know the story of Squanto and how he helped the Pilgrims of Plymouth, Massachusetts survive the winter of 1621 by showing them how to adapt to their new home. School children everywhere still celebrate the great tidings with cornucopias and pilgrim hats and turkeys drawn by tracing a hand and coloring in the fingers like feathers. The thumb is always the turkey's head.
Bend over and enjoy the flight
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody? The TSA was overwhelmed by complaints Friday from passengers who were fondled by airport screeners. Misunderstanding is rampant. Every time Al Gore asks the TSA for a happy ending while they are patting him down, they assure him his flight will land safely. Charlie Rangel stood in the well of the House Thursday and apologized to Congress. He thanked them for allowing him to address the greatest ...
Time to pierce the ear-marks
If Sen. Mitch McConnell's pledge to get behind the movement to ban the cynical practice of earmark spending is any indication that Republicans heard the message voters sent them in the recent Congressional elections, the GOP is off to a good start.
Articles by Section - Columnists
Speech to the Best Graduating Class Ever
Students, faculty, family members and friends, it is my great honor to deliver your commencement speech today.
Gang of Eight: Never Have So Few Told So Many Lies
For three more weeks, the Senate Judiciary Committee will debate the Border Security, Economic Opportunity and Immigration Modernization Act, S. 744. During the 45 years I've studied Washington politics, including 25 years of editorializing on the dreary subject, I can say without hesitation that no more anti-American legislation has ever been introduced.
The Second Term Curse Crashes Down on Barack Obama
You might say that May 10, 2013 was when the "second term curse" officially struck President Barack Obama -- and that May 13 was when it flattened him. Obama's administration has been hit with a triple whammy blast from a massive political stun gun.
It’s Harvest Time in Washington
Not even Barack Obama can defy the laws of physics.
The Batty Battalion
You do realize that Washington, D.C. is not the real world, don't you? It's a state of mind. An altered state of mind. Where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Slammed when you stand and rammed when you run. Berated if you lie and lambasted for the truth. Where even the slightest of breeze can carry the pollen of disaster. And the pack on top knows the best way to avoid ...
Keep Those Catalogs Comin’
What America needs is a good Productivity Boosting Nap Pod, a device that looks like a dentist chair with a roof. As luck would have it, this 310-pound unit, that "provides optimal ergonomics for napping," is available from Hammacher Schlemmer for $16,000. Dagwood Bumstead take note.
Even the bugs are getting audited
HOLLYWOOD-Happy Wednesday, everybody, and God bless America.
Obama Agenda Undermines Medical Innovation
Alzheimer's Disease costs the U.S. economy over $200 billion per year, about $140 billion of which is a direct federal budgetary cost to Medicare and Medicaid. On our present course, this cost will quintuple to $1 trillion by 2050. It is the major driver up the steeply rising health care cost curve. Given this context, the most important question for health policy is not the green eyeshade question of who-pays-how-much that has come to dominate ...
Welfare on Mars?
HOLLYWOOD-Happy Tuesday, everybody, and God bless America.
Learn from History
History is one of our greatest teachers.
Do We Still Need the Department of Education?
When executives of corporations are caught aiding and abetting criminal behavior of their employees, the executives are prosecuted and the businesses are destroyed.
American pravda, a nation of lawbreakers and Benghazigate
Louis Brandeis, who served on the United States Supreme Court from 1916 to 1939, once warned, "Our government teaches the whole people by its example. If the government becomes the lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy."
Limbaugh, Kurtz and the Bum’s Rush
Big news for those who think there aren't consequences in our media when professional talkers cross the line, or when famous reporters mess up and don't fix their mistakes without qualification, or do so begrudgingly. We now see proof of the law of consequences.
Did something happen in Benghazi?
HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody?
