First a disclaimer: The Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2012 should not under any circumstances be confused with the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of 2012. They are as different as red satin cummerbunds and Liar's Dice. Duck liver and Spanish moss. Matched pearl necklaces and motorcycle handlebars.
In response to an increasing demand for bachelor's degrees, community colleges in more than a dozen states have expanded their programs to include career-oriented, four-year degrees. Advocates say these programs – which typically require approval from state lawmakers – better respond to student and employer needs by providing affordable bachelor's degrees.
BEVERLY HILLS - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Help us, we're falling and we can't get up again.
I won a jackpot on Thanksgiving. I didn't even have to pay a buck to do it either--who says you have to play to win? We visited mom, now retired for two years this New Years Eve. As it turns out, she's taken to retirement very well, and plans to make a career of it. Because of this, her wardrobe needs have changed slightly, which is where my jackpot comes in.
Are we seeing the beginning of the end of Syria's detestable Bashar-al Assad regime -- or the beginning of a new international crisis swirling around it? Or both?
That "most wonderful time of the year" has arrived, and with it, most predictably, another round of attacks (yawn) by Secular Humanists doing their best to destroy the season by removing the Christ child from the crèche.
The Republican controlled U.S. House of Representatives by a bi-partisan vote of 245-139, has passed the STEM Jobs Act which makes 55,000 additional immigrant visas available to foreigners who have earned advanced degrees from U.S. universities in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM), to whom U.S. employers have offered jobs. Twenty-seven Democrats joined 218 Republicans in supporting the bill. Five Republicans joined 134 Democrats in voting "no".
The latest fiscal cliff plan from President Obama promised $400 billion in entitlement savings. An analysis by the Washington Post of the likely composition of those "savings" showed that nearly half of those cuts would come from requiring prescription drug rebates in Medicare. That would be a huge mistake for the country's fiscal and physical health.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
It was one of my favorite rituals every year.
"So, expect showers and gale-force winds over the next couple of days and don't forget that high-surf advisory is in effect throughout the weekend. We may even see some downed power lines and scattered looting. That's the weather here on Capitol Hill -- now let's go to Brandon with your Congressional traffic report."
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Republicans had better learn from history -- and from Ronald Reagan's mistake.
Can Elizabeth Warren, the progressive senator from Massachusetts, wrest the Democratic presidential nomination from Hillary Clinton? Moreover, could she somehow leap an even higher hurdle and succeed Barack Obama?
The 2016 presidential campaign has barely started, and I'm already bored.
If you believe the recently released Senate Intelligence Committee torture report, you might be tempted to conclude that the CIA lied to the press and the public and to Congress about the extent and effectiveness of its torture campaign. And that conclusion would be correct, sir.
Would police have harassed Eric Garner or his wife if the government had no financial interest in the selling of taxed cigarettes?
Oil, like political punditry, is a commodity, traded freely on the open market and subject to the laws of supply and demand. The difference of course is that punditry enjoys an abundant and renewable supply, flows freely, and produces nothing of value. Oil, on the other hand, is actually important. The problem is that people think they are related.
The political class breathed a sigh of relief Saturday when the US Senate averted a government shutdown by passing the $1.1 trillion omnibus spending bill. This year's omnibus resembles omnibuses of Christmas past in that it was drafted in secret, was full of special interest deals and disguised spending increases, and was voted on before most members could read it.
Torture is illegal. Period. End of debate. There is no legal, moral or probable justification for torture. It's against the Bill of Rights; it's against the Geneva Convention; it's against United Nations Convention Against Torture (ratified by the U.S. in 1994); it's against every state statute from every modern constitutional democracy and every decent and encouraging proposal coming from humanity in the last century.
Well over two years ago, a local public figure encouraged folks to give blood because it was the selfless thing to do.
Remember Kelly Thomas?
They say there's been a recovery, but most of us haven't seen it. Our economy is creating more jobs, but they don't match the wages, benefits and working conditions of the ones we've lost. The stock market is at a historic high, but its gains seem eerily divorced from how the economy is actually performing. Unfortunately, it looks like just another speculative bubble.
Recent reports have circulated that the Affordable Care Act (ACA) has not treated Kansas well. Some point to the rise in premiums, or the fixed monthly costs you pay for health insurance, and that in Kansas, the rise in these premiums is more compared to the rest of the country. Perhaps not surprisingly, given the political nature of evaluating the success of the ACA, there is disagreement by analysts over the accuracy and the relevance of the numbers.
A diverse group including concerned parents, sports fans and even the Writers Guild of America is fighting the proposed merger of media monoliths Time Warner and Comcast. The effort is spearheaded by the non-profit organization Public Knowledge, which claims the $45 billion merger would harm both the economy and our democracy.
On Tuesday December 9, disgraced Obamacare architect Jonathan Gruber will face the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. He has a lot to answer for.
Hey guys, Will Durst here with your eagerly awaited Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2014.