And so we bid a not-so-fond farewell to the bow of another large unwieldy year as it sinks slowly over the horizon wobbling unsteadily towards the graveyard of memory. And cheers erupt from we folks on shore waving the double-handed "L for loser" sign above our heads. "So long. See ya. Don't let the door slam you in the butt on the way out. And if you got any brothers or sisters, don't give them this address."
BEVERLY HILLS - God bless America, and how's everybody?
The year 2012 was not my most eventful year ever but it definitely made the top ten list. I have to say, the events were mostly all life-affirming. They represented finally reaching the light at the end of a tunnel. I finished phase one of a college experience, married a wonderful man, travelled outside the United States for the first time ever, found a new and better job and moved to my new home. Of all that I left behind, the things I miss most are some very good neighbors and friends, and a really wonderful garden.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot? How 'bout the presidential campaign, the 112th Congress and Newsweek magazine? Journalists usually favor year-end recaps of news but as a public service I'm going to focus instead on the glorious months ahead, in this handy precap of 2013:
Here's my annual list looking at 2012:
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Sure, Paul McCartney can still sing at age 70, but have you taken a good look at his hair? During the concert to benefit victims of Sandy, and a few nights later on "Saturday Night Live," McCartney's locks were positively mesmerizing.
This year, the politically correct gestures of seasonal salutation (Happy Holidays, Season's Greetings, etc.), which for too long have served as substitutes for the real thing, have become vacuous, stale and boring. This year, somehow, they seem especially inadequate to express the sentiment we so desperately need to hear at this moment in time.
It's not tougher gun control, stupid.
It's only human nature to want to take action after such a harrowing traumatic event. To do something. Anything, to protect our kids. And make sure that Newtown never ever happens again. Here. There. Anywhere.
HOLLYWOOD - Merry Christmas, everybody, and God bless America.
Journalists often exaggerate by using the phrase "shattered lives."
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Ah, the holiday season is upon us. What better time to show our support for our men and women in uniform?
We here at the Tribune have observed what has been dubbed "Christmas Spirit Week" this week. There have been days dedicated to wearing Christmas attire, Christmas bling and Christmas colors. Of course, all week, the table in the break room has loaded with Christmas cookies and assorted Christmas snacks.
Let's be frank; not many people feel comfortable discussing the subject of race.
When I was a lad, I would sprawl on the floor, reading "Dick Tracy" in the Sunday comics and marveling at high-tech police tools such as magnetic air cars and two-way wrist TVs.
This week, events around the country will highlight the importance of parental control of education as part of National School Choice Week. This year's events should attract more attention than prior years because of the growing rebellion against centralized education sparked by the federal Common Core curriculum.
Young Americans continue to put off homeownership, and that isn't good for anyone.
Raging Moderate by Will Durst
We complain about a two-party system that's stuck in ideological ditches, but somehow it never occurs to us to embrace pragmatism, the uniquely American philosophy that was created as a reaction to ideological stagnation. Unless Republicans and Democrats getting madder at each other suddenly starts working, maybe it's time to give pragmatism a chance.
For decades conservatives have advocated scaling back the role of the federal government in transportation, yet the federal gas tax that was supposed to end in 1969 is still hanging around 46 years later. Fortunately, there is a feature of the current law that gives states the the upper hand, and they should seize the opportunity to act.
If this is the best liberals can do to disparage Ted Cruz, the Texas Senator has a great chance of being our next President.
I didn't watch the State of the Union address Tuesday night.
It's no secret that the American conservative movement is bereft of ideas.
Boy, does the world need a better sense of humor right about now.
Decades after being dismissed by George S. Kaufman as a genre that "closes on Saturday night," satire, like the measles and mumps, is making a comeback. And in many quarters, remains the most feared of the three conditions.
In the wake of the terrorist massacre in Paris, the new battle cry throughout the civilized world is "Je suis Charlie," meaning "I am Charlie." The phrase expresses solidarity for the four cartoonists and 13 others butchered by Islamic terrorists who attacked the satirical newspaper and a kosher market. But, actually, it's clear now that the slogan for this century should be another one: "We are screwed."
Hitler is in the news again, invoked by some ignorant people.
A decade ago, Rick Perry famously signed off an interview with the words, "Adios, mofo." Now, signing off as governor, he told the same reporter, "Adios, my friend." He might be on his way out, but he's leaving behind a cast of characters that promises years of entertainment. The price of oil might be tanking, but stupid will always be Texas' most abundant natural resource.