And now, an open letter to all you new grads. Congratulations. Good job. Way to go. Bet you thought this day would never come. And if memory serves, it probably almost didn't. Anyhow, welcome to the real world. And please be aware that we use that term very loosely.
Behind the green curtain is where my world began to end. It was where my innocence was forever washed away in a porcelain pan filled with developer. Grainy images brought into strong relief on white paper that would become forever etched on my soul.
Exclusive Excerpt from: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom PurcellHurricane Isabel struck Washington, D.C. hard that night.
I auditioned, but I didn't get the part.
There's an old joke about a skunk who lifts his tail and, as bystanders hold their noses, says, "So do you!" Once again, Bush-era Republican maven Karl Rove has lifted his tail and altered the (ahem) atmospherics in America's political room -- while simultaneously conducting a new and old media symphony as if he were a world-famous maestro.
While many view Memorial Day as the official start of summer vacation, let's not forget to pause and remember the men and women who "gave the last full measure of devotion" serving our nation. It is a day to remember those who died defending the freedoms we hold dear and acknowledge the debt of gratitude we owe to our service members and their families.
Recently, Republican leaders in Congress unveiled a "tax reform" plan that they claimed would provide the American people with a simpler, fairer, and more efficient tax system. While this plan does lower some tax rates and contains some other changes that may make next April a little less painful for Americans, there is little in it to excite supporters of liberty.
President Obama is going to make me rich.
Stop listening to so much conservative talk radio.
While the Democratic Party has sent out spokesweasel Debbie Wasserman "I see nothing, I know nothing" Schultz and willing sycophants to shame Republicans into refraining from fundraising over the Benghazi scandal, the Democrats themselves have been doing just that.
In order to function like a properly greased money machine, the GOP requires a chew toy. Something to snarl and wave and get a good growl on. Railing against easy-to-digest injustices is the perfect lubrication. Nuance - not their strong suit. This party calibrates with pitchforks and 55 gallon drums of oil.
Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott opposes universal pre-K, arguing that we should not spend tax dollars on unproven education methods. But earlier this month in rolling out the third plank of his education platform, he proposed doing even worse-spending more money on something we know doesn't work: K12 Inc., the country's largest online education company. We hold schools, students, and soon teachers accountable. It's time to hold purveyors of failure accountable as well.
Some 20 years ago, a 12-year-old boy on a trip to San Francisco was taken into a restaurant in Chinatown. He saw the menu, and in a loud voice said: "Chinese food? I hate Chinese food. I don't even like the Chinese!" Then he noticed all the Asians glaring at him. He was one of two non-Asians there.
It is with great disappointment, and no small amount of confusion, that I learned of the New York Post's recent decision to entirely drop the comics page from its publication. As the current president of the National Cartoonists Society, and being that the NCS is an organization of professional cartoonists among whose members are the creators of the majority of the comics that used to grace the Post's comics page, the reason for the disappointment is obvious. The confusion is another matter.
Does raising the minimum wage really help anyone?
Not since Superman has a fella made such a big impression when he took of his eyeglasses. Turns out, the sexy new specs were a disguise all along. This is the Rick Perry we thought we were getting in 2012 before he crashed and burned onstage. But he's back, baby, and if he can keep it up it just might be change Republicans can believe in.
Happy Friday, everybody, and God Bless America.
Did you ever have a week in which you had an impossible amount of work to complete, yet somehow got it done?
Happy Thursday, everybody, and God Bless America.
America's attention recently turned away from the violence in Iraq and Gaza toward the violence in Ferguson, Missouri, following the shooting of Michael Brown. While all the facts surrounding the shooing have yet to come to light, the shock of seeing police using tear gas (a substance banned in warfare), and other military-style weapons against American citizens including journalists exercising their First Amendment rights, has started a much-needed debate on police militarization.
Shortly after he angrily denounced the obscene beheading of freelance journalist James Foley by a member of the terrorist Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, a smiling President Barack Obama was photographed playing golf. And so it started -- just like clockwork.
While the dominant Republican slogan on health care remains "repeal and replace," there is little agreement on what "replace" means. But if we wait until Obamacare can be repealed before developing a consensus on positive health care changes, major parts of Obamacare will be even more entrenched and its seductive goal of universal coverage may push us instead toward fully government-controlled single-payer system.
Knew he shouldn't. Couldn't help himself. I'm talking about the beaming leer in Rick Perry's mug shot. Or to be more precise, his smug shot. In the photo released by the Austin Police Department, the Texas Governor grins like a Cheshire Cat who just cleaned out the canary department of a PetSmart and is presetting his Lexus' GPS for another store.
Once again Israel is being forced to defend itself from the terrorists who run Gaza.
The initial outburst of rage, simmering for years in a brick and pavement community draped in poverty was genuine, and for many today is still genuine. It didn't and will never matter to many in Ferguson what Michael Brown did or did not do. What remains is a white man of authority gunned him down in the street and "the man" left his corpse in the open to rot for hours as men, women and children ogled, stared and raged from a distance.
So it turns out, thanks to a leak from the St. Louis County medical examiner's office, that the unarmed teen who was shot by a cop six times in Ferguson, Mo., including twice in the head, had marijuana in his bloodstream. And, naturally, the character assassins are essentially saying, "Ya see? He was a druggie, a violent thug."
The Saturday before last, Michael Brown swiped several cigars from a convenience store counter, passing much of his spoils to friend Dorian Johnson.
Just as World War I didn't prove to be "the war to end all wars," the 20th century didn't turn out to be when the nearly unimaginable brutality and indescribable evil represented by German dictator Adolf Hitler's Nazi regime was definitively laid to rest.
It was just a matter of time for the program to be abused.
The meeting probably wasn't as awkward as Cain attending Abel's funeral. Closer to Anna Nicole walking past her husband's family in court. Surely had a Billy Bob Thornton/ Brad Pitt-drunk at a wedding reception feel.