Exclusive Excerpt from: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom PurcellHurricane Isabel struck Washington, D.C. hard that night.
I auditioned, but I didn't get the part.
There's an old joke about a skunk who lifts his tail and, as bystanders hold their noses, says, "So do you!" Once again, Bush-era Republican maven Karl Rove has lifted his tail and altered the (ahem) atmospherics in America's political room -- while simultaneously conducting a new and old media symphony as if he were a world-famous maestro.
While many view Memorial Day as the official start of summer vacation, let's not forget to pause and remember the men and women who "gave the last full measure of devotion" serving our nation. It is a day to remember those who died defending the freedoms we hold dear and acknowledge the debt of gratitude we owe to our service members and their families.
Recently, Republican leaders in Congress unveiled a "tax reform" plan that they claimed would provide the American people with a simpler, fairer, and more efficient tax system. While this plan does lower some tax rates and contains some other changes that may make next April a little less painful for Americans, there is little in it to excite supporters of liberty.
President Obama is going to make me rich.
Stop listening to so much conservative talk radio.
While the Democratic Party has sent out spokesweasel Debbie Wasserman "I see nothing, I know nothing" Schultz and willing sycophants to shame Republicans into refraining from fundraising over the Benghazi scandal, the Democrats themselves have been doing just that.
In order to function like a properly greased money machine, the GOP requires a chew toy. Something to snarl and wave and get a good growl on. Railing against easy-to-digest injustices is the perfect lubrication. Nuance - not their strong suit. This party calibrates with pitchforks and 55 gallon drums of oil.
Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott opposes universal pre-K, arguing that we should not spend tax dollars on unproven education methods. But earlier this month in rolling out the third plank of his education platform, he proposed doing even worse-spending more money on something we know doesn't work: K12 Inc., the country's largest online education company. We hold schools, students, and soon teachers accountable. It's time to hold purveyors of failure accountable as well.
Some 20 years ago, a 12-year-old boy on a trip to San Francisco was taken into a restaurant in Chinatown. He saw the menu, and in a loud voice said: "Chinese food? I hate Chinese food. I don't even like the Chinese!" Then he noticed all the Asians glaring at him. He was one of two non-Asians there.
It is with great disappointment, and no small amount of confusion, that I learned of the New York Post's recent decision to entirely drop the comics page from its publication. As the current president of the National Cartoonists Society, and being that the NCS is an organization of professional cartoonists among whose members are the creators of the majority of the comics that used to grace the Post's comics page, the reason for the disappointment is obvious. The confusion is another matter.
Does raising the minimum wage really help anyone?
"People globally are embracing the sharing economy."
What do you mean Americans have gotten ruder?"
The key to understanding Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz is not that he is a fighter or that he is an unwavering ideologue. To highlight his intelligence points the spotlight in the right direction but misses the mark. The man can give a speech, but that's not quite the thing, either. The thing that explains Cruz, at least to me, is this: He is a debate nerd.
You know there's a problem with the Iran nuclear agreement when The White House releases a fact sheet to the press outlining the agreement, and Iran issues a statement claiming the fact sheet is false... within 15 minutes.
Since President Obama's first year in office, the federal government has been illegally using your federal tax dollars to pay lobbyists at the state and local level to lobby for tax hikes, zoning restrictions, and other nanny state policies that pick your pockets and limit your freedom. Every time a scandal breaks or Congress tries to crack down on abuses, the grant-making program changes its name and keeps on going.
Rand Paul's prospects of ever being president are on a par with the Philadelphia Phillies' odds of winning the pennant. If he somehow makes it to the Oval Office, I will personally climb Mt. Everest and chisel his curly locks into the rocks.
Texas stereotype shattered. Texas stereotype confirmed.
Justice has been done in Boston, but it's not finished.
Imagine if a doctor struggled to pay a small debt and as punishment the government took away his stethoscope. Or, if a ballerina owed money and was forced to surrender her toe shoes. Makes no sense, right?
Q. Governor of Indiana, Mike Pence, signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. What's the big deal?
Over the last several months, Marco Rubio has been mentioned by the national media so many times one might think he was just elected president.
The President of the United States of America announced a peace deal with Iran. It's been so long that American leadership in the world sought peace through diplomacy I forgot we had it in our foreign policy tool box. The last time that occurred to me was on a Spring Break trip to Arkansas, which, granted, is also not an idea that occurs to many people.
When I came to, I was on my back on the floor of my accountant's office.
Apple CEO Tim Cook should know better than to freak out over Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA). His company was also the victim of media alarmism and hyperbole.
The president was talking to America's enemy, extending his hand in the interests of peace, and the war hawks were going nuts. One conservative leader assailed "a weakened president, weakened in spirit as well as in clout." Another conservative leader denounced the president as "a useful idiot for (enemy) propaganda." A top conservative columnist lamented the president's "moral disarmament."
Next to Interstate 15, about 45 miles south of Las Vegas, sit three mysterious structures that look like gigantic table lamps giving off blinding light.
March Madness hit Indiana hard this week.