HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Exclusive Excerpt from: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom Purcell
Based on the election results in New Jersey and Virginia, the Republicans have stark choices going forward: They can nominate candidates with crossover appeal - and win. Or they can continue to nominate right-wing extremists - and lose.
A Wall Street friend told me he thinks that the October Bureau of Labor Statistics report's deceptions are so great that Disneyland must have written it. For the umpteenth straight month, the mainstream media cherry-picked the handful of positive statistics but buried profoundly troubling data.
This Veteran's Day, I want to thank all of those who have warn the uniform in service to our nation. Every November 11 we come together to honor their service and their sacrifice. And most important, to thank them.
It's a good thing he slimmed down because he's running. The worst-kept secret in politics is clearly now even less of a secret. With his whopping re-election win, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is in 2016 Republican Presidential nomination-seeking mode. The only questions are whether he'll do it his way (center right), or eventually the base's way (inch far right) -- and whether he'll prove to be another Bill Clinton or another Rudy Giuliani.
Roughly 15 million people watched each of the six games between Boston and St. Louis on TV last month, while here in the Phoenix metroplex a concurrent amateur World Series sparked every bit as much passion, maybe even more, among 324 adult baseball teams.
Because of a regulation designed to make nearly every plan rapidly lose grandfather status, millions of Americans have received letters informing them their health plans have been canceled. Many of them are unable to even get through the first steps of Healthcare.gov to see what their options there are, and others who are able to see their options are finding they have to pay more and may lose their doctors.
Dear American citizens:
No, this is not The Onion. No, this is not a rip-off of The Onion. This is not satire. This is the plea from Iraq's Prime Minister, Minister of the Interior, Minister of Defense and the Minister of National Security Affairs. All of whom happen to be the same person: Nouri al-Maliki.
President Obama "didn't know" his IRS was targeting conservative groups, successfully impeding their ability to promote policies he opposes.
Dear Mr. President,
News from ABC and FOX about potential hair restoration breakthroughs makes me think back to a traumatic discovery in my first year of marriage.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
"The wife and I came up with so many Halloween costume ideas this year to satirize Washington politicians, but we aren't sure which to choose."
Since President Obama's first year in office, the federal government has been illegally using your federal tax dollars to pay lobbyists at the state and local level to lobby for tax hikes, zoning restrictions, and other nanny state policies that pick your pockets and limit your freedom. Every time a scandal breaks or Congress tries to crack down on abuses, the grant-making program changes its name and keeps on going.
Rand Paul's prospects of ever being president are on a par with the Philadelphia Phillies' odds of winning the pennant. If he somehow makes it to the Oval Office, I will personally climb Mt. Everest and chisel his curly locks into the rocks.
Texas stereotype shattered. Texas stereotype confirmed.
Justice has been done in Boston, but it's not finished.
Imagine if a doctor struggled to pay a small debt and as punishment the government took away his stethoscope. Or, if a ballerina owed money and was forced to surrender her toe shoes. Makes no sense, right?
Q. Governor of Indiana, Mike Pence, signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. What's the big deal?
Over the last several months, Marco Rubio has been mentioned by the national media so many times one might think he was just elected president.
The President of the United States of America announced a peace deal with Iran. It's been so long that American leadership in the world sought peace through diplomacy I forgot we had it in our foreign policy tool box. The last time that occurred to me was on a Spring Break trip to Arkansas, which, granted, is also not an idea that occurs to many people.
When I came to, I was on my back on the floor of my accountant's office.
Apple CEO Tim Cook should know better than to freak out over Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA). His company was also the victim of media alarmism and hyperbole.
The president was talking to America's enemy, extending his hand in the interests of peace, and the war hawks were going nuts. One conservative leader assailed "a weakened president, weakened in spirit as well as in clout." Another conservative leader denounced the president as "a useful idiot for (enemy) propaganda." A top conservative columnist lamented the president's "moral disarmament."
Next to Interstate 15, about 45 miles south of Las Vegas, sit three mysterious structures that look like gigantic table lamps giving off blinding light.
March Madness hit Indiana hard this week.
When we were teenagers, my "the South's gonna do it again" younger brother bought into some weird conspiracy theory that Gen. Robert E. Lee didn't really surrender at Appomattox Courthouse, Virginia. Lee supposedly thought he was merely handing his sword over to someone for cleaning. (The deniers who concocted the theory apparently also believed that Europeans never really landed in the New World but just filmed it out in the desert somewhere.)
Ah, springtime has finally arrived in Washington, D.C.