Be still your beating hearts, because the agonizing wait is over. Wake the kids. Rake the leaves. Fake speaking in tongues. Yes, it's the most wonderful time of the year, when the eagerly awaited list of Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2015 is finally, mercifully released. Yoke an ox. Toke some skunk. Poke Uncle Bud to make sure he's still ambulatory.
The New York Daily News cries "Fire!" so often on its front page that readers are wary of false alarms. But what the News came up with following the shooting rampage in San Bernardino was one of the boldest moves a newspaper could make.
Behold the authentic beauty of an old-school family photo. This image, captured in a hurry in November 1968, was carefully removed from the Kodak Instamatic camera, driven to Gibson's Discount on 10th Street in Great Bend, Kan., placed in an orange envelope and then mailed to Kodak processing labs in Rochester, N.Y., to be made into Christmas cards and then returned three weeks later to Larry and Ramona. The intrinsic appeal of imperfection is perfection.
The interventionists will do anything to prevent Americans from seeing that their foreign policies are perpetuating terrorism and inspiring others to seek to harm us. The neocons know that when it is understood that blowback is real – that people seek to attack us not because we are good and free but because we bomb and occupy their countries – their stranglehold over foreign policy will begin to slip.
Get out the big black Sharpie and pull down the official Presidential Campaign Manual because its time to redact the rules. Reality television star Donald Trump has altered the way politics is played to an extent that is game-changing. Judged on a scale of one to ten, think somewhere in the mid five figures.
We've spent such a large portion of the past year cringing at the prospect of potential disasters crouching behind every bush: ISIS, Putin, Trump, Belicheck, lion-killing dentists, that a national holiday right about now is a blessed respite. For one 24-hour period, the whole country can focus on something benign. Unless, you're a Black Friday shopper. But those are self-inflicted injuries.