No, this is not The Onion. No, this is not a rip-off of The Onion. This is not satire. This is the plea from Iraq's Prime Minister, Minister of the Interior, Minister of Defense and the Minister of National Security Affairs. All of whom happen to be the same person: Nouri al-Maliki.
Women of Texas, Republican Attorney General Greg Abbott is here to tell you how good you have it. In fact, he recently said, "I'm proud to say there is nobody in the state of Texas who has done more to fight to help women than I have in the past decade." You'll have to excuse the man. He's running for governor, and it's becoming clear that his right hand doesn't know what the far-right hand is doing.
One thing you can say about Republicans. They are focused. Like lasers. Or a puppy with a chew toy. Obamacare? No, sir. They don't like it. They don't like it so much, they have become interested in the Internet. They no longer refer to it as the interweb, riddled with tubes and tunnels and chutes and ladders.
Not every bad thing that happens to us is bad, long term. I've learned it well; some of life's biggest blessings arrive unexpectedly, wrapped in the most unsightly dressings. It's as if the alchemy happens in the waiting. And so it may be for the GOP, as they now get to witness certain Democrats, who supported Obamacare, paying a hefty price for their misdeeds. (And who says there isn't a God?)
While we watch the S.S. Obamacare sink beneath the waves, and while we watch the White House explain why its signature legislative "achievement" is not the titanic disaster we all knew it would be, I have some advice for my fellow Republicans.