Dear American citizens:
No, this is not The Onion. No, this is not a rip-off of The Onion. This is not satire. This is the plea from Iraq's Prime Minister, Minister of the Interior, Minister of Defense and the Minister of National Security Affairs. All of whom happen to be the same person: Nouri al-Maliki.
President Obama "didn't know" his IRS was targeting conservative groups, successfully impeding their ability to promote policies he opposes.
Dear Mr. President,
News from ABC and FOX about potential hair restoration breakthroughs makes me think back to a traumatic discovery in my first year of marriage.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
"The wife and I came up with so many Halloween costume ideas this year to satirize Washington politicians, but we aren't sure which to choose."
It seems every major scandal, abuse of power, and spectacular failure in President Barack Obama's administration happens, we're told, without the president's knowledge.
Women of Texas, Republican Attorney General Greg Abbott is here to tell you how good you have it. In fact, he recently said, "I'm proud to say there is nobody in the state of Texas who has done more to fight to help women than I have in the past decade." You'll have to excuse the man. He's running for governor, and it's becoming clear that his right hand doesn't know what the far-right hand is doing.
The Music Man showed up here the other day, hoping to separate school kids from their money.
One thing you can say about Republicans. They are focused. Like lasers. Or a puppy with a chew toy. Obamacare? No, sir. They don't like it. They don't like it so much, they have become interested in the Internet. They no longer refer to it as the interweb, riddled with tubes and tunnels and chutes and ladders.
Not every bad thing that happens to us is bad, long term. I've learned it well; some of life's biggest blessings arrive unexpectedly, wrapped in the most unsightly dressings. It's as if the alchemy happens in the waiting. And so it may be for the GOP, as they now get to witness certain Democrats, who supported Obamacare, paying a hefty price for their misdeeds. (And who says there isn't a God?)
While we watch the S.S. Obamacare sink beneath the waves, and while we watch the White House explain why its signature legislative "achievement" is not the titanic disaster we all knew it would be, I have some advice for my fellow Republicans.
Ah, time passes faster than a flying saucer. So we blink and find that October 30 marks the 75th anniversary of one of the most embarrassing incidents in American history.
Is America's center rising again? It certainly seems that way.
"Politicize" is a jab meaning the other side is trying to capitalize on a news topic. "The Republicans have tried to politicize the border crisis," says Nancy Pelosi. Reince Priebus says Democrats are trying to politicize Benghazi. Jay Carney says Republicans are trying to politicize Benghazi. Steny Hoyer says Republicans are trying to politicize the VA scandal. Rush Limbaugh says Democrats politicize EVERYTHING.
Add Ebola to our long and growing list of federal screw-ups.
In what has been a season of jaw-dropping news, the largest bombshell seems like it was ripped from the pages of Mad Magazine.