Here are my predictions for 2013:
HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody?
Many news outlets are reporting that President Obama's proposed $60.4 billion federal aid bill for Hurricane Sandy victims is packed with pork. I contacted my White House insider, Deep Mole, to get some answers.
After four horrible seasons, the Jacksonville Jaguars canned their general manager. The Bears missed the playoffs, and now Lovie Smith is unemployed. And now Andy Reid, once called "coach for life" by the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles, is out of work.
With dark shadows of uncertainty descending upon the hearts of so many at the conclusion of 2012, one can only hope 2013 will be a year of promise. But even in these dark days, miracles do still happen, especially when people are willing to roll up their sleeves for the cause of freedom.
While Obama moves his fiscal chess pieces toward the inevitable cliff (or more like a boat ramp), and the sad and equally inevitable failed ideas of gun control stain newspapers and online news sites, I would like to take this moment to address America's most generous contributors of time, talent and treasure to charities - conservatives.
LA JOLLA - Happy New Year, everybody, and God bless America.
And so we bid a not-so-fond farewell to the bow of another large unwieldy year as it sinks slowly over the horizon wobbling unsteadily towards the graveyard of memory. And cheers erupt from we folks on shore waving the double-handed "L for loser" sign above our heads. "So long. See ya. Don't let the door slam you in the butt on the way out. And if you got any brothers or sisters, don't give them this address."
BEVERLY HILLS - God bless America, and how's everybody?
The year 2012 was not my most eventful year ever but it definitely made the top ten list. I have to say, the events were mostly all life-affirming. They represented finally reaching the light at the end of a tunnel. I finished phase one of a college experience, married a wonderful man, travelled outside the United States for the first time ever, found a new and better job and moved to my new home. Of all that I left behind, the things I miss most are some very good neighbors and friends, and a really wonderful garden.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot? How 'bout the presidential campaign, the 112th Congress and Newsweek magazine? Journalists usually favor year-end recaps of news but as a public service I'm going to focus instead on the glorious months ahead, in this handy precap of 2013:
Here's my annual list looking at 2012:
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Sure, Paul McCartney can still sing at age 70, but have you taken a good look at his hair? During the concert to benefit victims of Sandy, and a few nights later on "Saturday Night Live," McCartney's locks were positively mesmerizing.
This year, the politically correct gestures of seasonal salutation (Happy Holidays, Season's Greetings, etc.), which for too long have served as substitutes for the real thing, have become vacuous, stale and boring. This year, somehow, they seem especially inadequate to express the sentiment we so desperately need to hear at this moment in time.
God bless America, and how's everybody?
We must stop them.
Hide your wallets and shield the children, because they're voting down in Texas. Texas Republicans will be testing the strength of the Tea Party as they pick their first post-Rick Perry slate of statewide candidates since the 1980s. But Texas Democrats might end up missing Perry, as there is a decent shot that Republicans will nominate not their best-qualified, most-electable candidates but an entire clown car full of crazypants.
Hollywood and Washington: Both entertaining, often boring and far too often irresponsible.
For all those who have spent the last couple of months shoveling out a car, you should know we're at the tail end of awards season. And best be advised to hunker in a bunker wearing a Kevlar overcoat, because gold plated statues are being tossed about like air kisses at a gown fitting. Like clouds of bathroom hair spray during Oscar nominee luncheons. Like jaded eyes at a press screening of "Transformers 4."
Is Bill Clinton still president?
Is the United States inevitably on the path to Hillaryland?