By the time you read this, the world's billion-plus Roman Catholics may have a new pope. And when the black smoke of Tuesday's indecisive first vote has turned to the white smoke of final decision, don't be surprised if the cardinals have chosen... a Catholic pope.
Imagine U.S. Senators Joe Manchin of West Virginia and Jon Tester of Montana attacking fellow Democrats Diane Feinstein, Chuck Schumer and Richard Blumenthal over their unconstitutional gun control proposals. Further, envision Manchin granting an interview with conspiratorial radio talk show host Alex Jones, during which the senator calls Feinstein, Schumer and Blumenthal "wacko birds." Picture the harrumphing that would emanate from the elite media...
Our own increasingly secretive Kansas Legislature continues to ponder bills that would curtail the release of what is now considered public information.
A national political star is born. Kentucky's' Republican Senator Rand Paul became the political Justin Beiber of libertarians everywhere and a role model for GOPers who want to grab media attention by staging a dramatic "talking filibuster." And, suddenly, Republicans who had steadfastly resisted the idea of bringing back talking filibusters were falling all over themselves to get involved and praise it.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Last week, Best Buy joined Yahoo to ban employees from telecommuting - a subject on which I am becoming an expert.
When Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) speaks to the Conservative Political Action Conference next week in Washington, it won't be a keynote, it'll be a coronation. Sick of sellouts, movement conservatives have fallen hard for Cruz. The Red State blog dubbed him a "national hero" and a "great patriot" for his first two months in the Senate. Retired Sen. Jim DeMint vouched for Cruz as the real deal:
Some fancy-dancy public-policy think-tank just released a brand-new study that speculates the legion of aging baby boomers will permanently redefine retirement. Mainly because so few of us will be able to afford to retire. "Uh, lady, you want lids on these?" Fast-food break rooms equipped with CPR paddles. A forest of tennis ball-footed walkers leaning against the brooms and mops by the back door. Intra-generational minimum wage squabbles: "Hey you punks, get your greasy hot apple pie holes off my oxygen tank."
Senate Democrats are finally beginning the process of writing a budget after four years of dereliction. They will almost certainly include some changes to Medicare, the largest driver of federal spending and debt. But unfortunately, there are indications that they intend to focus on the small piece of Medicare (10.6 percent in 2012) that is actually working well: the Medicare Part D prescription drug program.
International Women's Day is March 6 and is celebrated all through the weekend by many around the world. In the U.S., the day complements a month-long recognition of women through Women's History Month.
According to ABC News, you should probably get ready for a take-no-prisoners "This is your brain on nougat" campaign.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
As one who frequently works from home, I believe Yahoo's Marissa Mayer has seriously erred in removing that option for her staff. I've kept a diary of my productivity, and I'm forwarding this rundown of a typical day to Ms. Mayer, urging her to reconsider.
An old vaudeville joke went like this: "Do I look like an idiot? Do I look like a jerk who doesn't know what's going on? Do you think I'm dumb? Don't answer that!"
"All right," said my mother, standing before the members of the U.S. Senate, "it's time for you to get your act together."
If you're reading this, I'm sorry I didn't get your name, but I wish to thank you for returning the cellphone I left in your taxi. Moreover, I want to explain how you and several others at LAX provided a refresher course in good nature.
Exclusive Excerpt from: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom Purcell
So what does the Tea Party want this fall?
Tyrades! By Danny Tyree
God bless America, and how's everybody?
A global survey of 68 countries (including our allies) at the end of 2013 conducted by Gallup and the Worldwide Independent Network now rates America as the biggest threat to world peace on the planet. Pakistan was the runner up, closely followed by China. Afghanistan, Iran, Israel and North Korea are equally tied for fourth place.
If you have a seventh grader, then you know that he or she just got done taking a standardized test for writing. The good news is our country's education policy recognizes writing is a necessary skill in the information era. The bad news is because of the way we administer and grade the writing standardized tests, we'd have a better idea of whether our kids can write if we looked at their texts.
According to a new UN report, there's good news and bad news about global warming. The good news- it's worse than we thought. Yeah. That's the good news. The bad news- you don't want to know. Because then there's worse news and ultimately, "holy moley, is that an asteroid the size of a mini-mall crushing my house" news.