Hypothetical situation: A father uses a stolen credit card to make a big FanDuel football bet. He's taking a risk because he wants to have the best Feliz Navidad ever for his family. But to his shock and dismay he finds out there's a big difference between futbol and football and his entire "investment" is wiped out.
Prepare for earth-shattering news - immigration has become a key issue in the race for the Republican nomination. Yes. Again. It's what folks in the garden industry call a perennial. Or rather, biennial, as it happens like clockwork every year ending in an even number. It's as predictable as fruit flies in the dumpster behind a produce store on garbage day.
I spent a good part of one afternoon last week making a parody of the whole "Little Red Cup" controversy. The most recent iteration of our annual "War on Christmas" outrage involved Starbucks and their holiday cups. Usually in the lead up to Thanksgiving, the company issued its festive cups adorned with wreaths and whatever else reminded you of the totally nonessential yet delightful parts of Christmas. There was no nativity motif, nothing religious. It was the secular part that makes you warm and fuzzy and coaxes you to pay exorbitant sums for, let's face it, not so good ...
Today, more Americans than ever receive some sort of government assistance, much of which can genuinely be described as "handouts." Welfare-to-work standards, a bipartisan gem from the Clinton Era, have been relaxed. Ostensibly unemployed individuals now receive benefits for years on end.
Isn't it nice to know that even in a time of international crisis - ISIS, Syria, Putin - some Americans still make time to freak out over trivia? There's something endearingly childlike (or pathetic) about our willful refusal to put things in perspective.
Everyone is still talking about the Royals parade. It seems the only people complaining are those upset that school was canceled. Hordes of school districts gave everyone the day off. One letter to the editor last week expressed it this way: "With all the pressure on teachers and students to perform better, did they really need a day off for no real reason? I don't think that sends the right message."
Last week Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen hinted that the Federal Reserve Board will increase interest rates at the board's December meeting. The positive jobs report that was released following Yellen's remarks caused many observers to say that the Federal Reserve's first interest rate increase in almost a decade is practically inevitable.