Here are my predictions for 2013:
HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody?
Many news outlets are reporting that President Obama's proposed $60.4 billion federal aid bill for Hurricane Sandy victims is packed with pork. I contacted my White House insider, Deep Mole, to get some answers.
After four horrible seasons, the Jacksonville Jaguars canned their general manager. The Bears missed the playoffs, and now Lovie Smith is unemployed. And now Andy Reid, once called "coach for life" by the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles, is out of work.
With dark shadows of uncertainty descending upon the hearts of so many at the conclusion of 2012, one can only hope 2013 will be a year of promise. But even in these dark days, miracles do still happen, especially when people are willing to roll up their sleeves for the cause of freedom.
While Obama moves his fiscal chess pieces toward the inevitable cliff (or more like a boat ramp), and the sad and equally inevitable failed ideas of gun control stain newspapers and online news sites, I would like to take this moment to address America's most generous contributors of time, talent and treasure to charities - conservatives.
LA JOLLA - Happy New Year, everybody, and God bless America.
And so we bid a not-so-fond farewell to the bow of another large unwieldy year as it sinks slowly over the horizon wobbling unsteadily towards the graveyard of memory. And cheers erupt from we folks on shore waving the double-handed "L for loser" sign above our heads. "So long. See ya. Don't let the door slam you in the butt on the way out. And if you got any brothers or sisters, don't give them this address."
BEVERLY HILLS - God bless America, and how's everybody?
The year 2012 was not my most eventful year ever but it definitely made the top ten list. I have to say, the events were mostly all life-affirming. They represented finally reaching the light at the end of a tunnel. I finished phase one of a college experience, married a wonderful man, travelled outside the United States for the first time ever, found a new and better job and moved to my new home. Of all that I left behind, the things I miss most are some very good neighbors and friends, and a really wonderful garden.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot? How 'bout the presidential campaign, the 112th Congress and Newsweek magazine? Journalists usually favor year-end recaps of news but as a public service I'm going to focus instead on the glorious months ahead, in this handy precap of 2013:
Here's my annual list looking at 2012:
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Sure, Paul McCartney can still sing at age 70, but have you taken a good look at his hair? During the concert to benefit victims of Sandy, and a few nights later on "Saturday Night Live," McCartney's locks were positively mesmerizing.
This year, the politically correct gestures of seasonal salutation (Happy Holidays, Season's Greetings, etc.), which for too long have served as substitutes for the real thing, have become vacuous, stale and boring. This year, somehow, they seem especially inadequate to express the sentiment we so desperately need to hear at this moment in time.
This just in! If you're willing to spend more money than you currently drop on Netflix, you can now get the Sarah Palin Channel online, which promises to "discuss the great issues of the day and work towards solutions."
On August 15 the Panama Canal (which greatly enhances maritime trade by providing a shortcut between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans) celebrates the 100th anniversary of its opening.
Ah, summer. What a great time for boys to read "The Dangerous Book for Boys."
Let's wave bye-bye to July with a thigh-slapping salute to Curt Clawson, the tea party's latest contribution to the U.S. Congress. Rarely has a Republican white guy evinced such cluelessness about Americans of a different race.
In a move less surprising than hot dogs at a ballgame, the House of Representatives voted to give Speaker John Boehner the authority to sue the President of the United States. This isn't like a divorce, or a civil suit for money, it's more of a restraining order. They want Obama to quit trying to resuscitate the government they've been working so hard to render unconscious.
The language in the Obamacare statute has always been crystal clear. Eligibility for the "affordability tax credit," or subsidy, requires enrollment "through an Exchange established by the State under 1311 of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act." Identical language appears in the definition of a "coverage month," and every, single place subsidy eligibility is mentioned in the law.