HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
"I'm not sure I have the energy to keep up."
First a disclaimer: The Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2012 should not under any circumstances be confused with the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of 2012. They are as different as red satin cummerbunds and Liar's Dice. Duck liver and Spanish moss. Matched pearl necklaces and motorcycle handlebars.
In response to an increasing demand for bachelor's degrees, community colleges in more than a dozen states have expanded their programs to include career-oriented, four-year degrees. Advocates say these programs – which typically require approval from state lawmakers – better respond to student and employer needs by providing affordable bachelor's degrees.
BEVERLY HILLS - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Help us, we're falling and we can't get up again.
I won a jackpot on Thanksgiving. I didn't even have to pay a buck to do it either--who says you have to play to win? We visited mom, now retired for two years this New Years Eve. As it turns out, she's taken to retirement very well, and plans to make a career of it. Because of this, her wardrobe needs have changed slightly, which is where my jackpot comes in.
Are we seeing the beginning of the end of Syria's detestable Bashar-al Assad regime -- or the beginning of a new international crisis swirling around it? Or both?
That "most wonderful time of the year" has arrived, and with it, most predictably, another round of attacks (yawn) by Secular Humanists doing their best to destroy the season by removing the Christ child from the crèche.
The Republican controlled U.S. House of Representatives by a bi-partisan vote of 245-139, has passed the STEM Jobs Act which makes 55,000 additional immigrant visas available to foreigners who have earned advanced degrees from U.S. universities in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM), to whom U.S. employers have offered jobs. Twenty-seven Democrats joined 218 Republicans in supporting the bill. Five Republicans joined 134 Democrats in voting "no".
The latest fiscal cliff plan from President Obama promised $400 billion in entitlement savings. An analysis by the Washington Post of the likely composition of those "savings" showed that nearly half of those cuts would come from requiring prescription drug rebates in Medicare. That would be a huge mistake for the country's fiscal and physical health.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
It was one of my favorite rituals every year.
"So, expect showers and gale-force winds over the next couple of days and don't forget that high-surf advisory is in effect throughout the weekend. We may even see some downed power lines and scattered looting. That's the weather here on Capitol Hill -- now let's go to Brandon with your Congressional traffic report."
We have been at war with Iraq for 24 years, starting with Operations Desert Shield and Storm in 1990. Shortly after Iraq's invasion of Kuwait that year, the propaganda machine began agitating for a US attack on Iraq. We all remember the appearance before Congress of a young Kuwaiti woman claiming that the Iraqis were ripping Kuwaiti babies from incubators. The woman turned out to be the daughter of the Kuwaiti ambassador to the US and the story was false, but it was enough to turn US opposition in favor of an attack.
Like a boulder dropped in a lake, Hillary Clinton's dissing of President Obama is still creating serious ripples. So let's stay with this story a bit longer.
Obama has failed to help defeat islamists in Syria, leading to the growth of The Islamic State (The Radical Islamist Murderers Formerly Known as ISIS) and fails to define a foreign policy for the U.S.
If you're frustrated by the skimpiness of "fun-size" candy, wait until you hear some "fun-size" songs.
Men might be from Mars and women from Venus, but at least we're in the same solar system. When it comes to politics, liberals and conservatives can't agree on what the problems are much less solutions. We can blame the politicians for not making progress on the big issues of our time, but until Americans share a common truth about what those issues are we won't move an inch.
Since 1998 it has been prohibited by federal law for states and localities to tax Internet access. This policy, known as the Internet Tax Freedom Act, has been extended three times with broad bipartisan support. But it is set to expire again on November 1, and some Senate Democrats appear willing, this time, to allow it to actually expire if they can't use it to leverage an unrelated tax issue. It's a dangerous game that could cost taxpayers billions of dollars and worsen the digital divide by pricing some lower income Americans off of the Internet entirely.
It takes a special kind of jerk to market fear and exploit public ignorance in the midst of a health emergency - and, sure enough, members of this repellent American subspecies are already flapping their yaps.
Get this: Low expectations are the key to happiness.
The problem with a lie-even one that everyone agrees with-is that eventually you can't ignore the truth. Enron can't paper over debt and crashes. The housing bubble pops. Now, as the rush towards using standardized test scores to evaluate teachers turns into a retreat, it might be time to face that standardized tests are a lousy way to hold schools accountable.