"I was standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona, and such a fine sight to see: it's a girl, my lord, in a flatbed Ford, slowin' down to take a look at me."
You got to love Thanksgiving. You do. It's the law. And be honest; doesn't a little tryptophan poisoning amongst family and friends sound pretty comforting right about now? What with Ebola infested ISIS members slithering across the border carrying photos of Bill Cosby ogling Kim Kardashian's butt?
Exclusive Excerpt from: "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" by Tom Purcell
There is no shortage of pundits who could do a worthy job of waxing philosophical about the things we should or shouldn't be thankful for at Thanksgiving 2014.
It will not shock readers to hear that quite often legislation on Capitol Hill is not as advertised. When Congress wants to do something particularly objectionable, they tend give it a fine-sounding name. The PATRIOT Act is perhaps the best-known example. The legislation had been drafted well before 9/11 but was going nowhere. Then the 9/11 attacks gave it a new lease on life. Politicians exploited the surge in patriotism following the attack to reintroduce the bill and call it the PATRIOT Act. To oppose it at that time was, by design, to seem unpatriotic.
Nothing is less important in Washington these days than how Barack Obama's executive order on immigration will affect millions of unauthorized immigrants. Obama has turned a population roughly equal to Alabama into taxpayers who can live in America without fear of deportation, and this town yawns. All anyone really wants to talk about is whether the Republicans will completely freak out or manage to hold it together long enough for the government to function.
Liberal billionaires reap the benefits of their XL pipeline lobbying and what do they get?
Jack Clayton's 1974 rendition of The Great Gatsby is the quintessential American epic, as well as a sophisticated blockbuster.
Talk about being in the middle of Middle America.
Illegal immigrants are the perfect Republican foe. They're easily exploited as low-cost workers benefiting business and easily maligned for being "lawless" benefiting politicians. They're a foreign other with a tendency not to speak English so suspicion is ready-made. Plus, how are illegal immigrants going to stick up for themselves? They're not. They're an ideal rival!
I've done my fair share of stupid things over my life.
I set out to write an obituary about my mother, who died Nov. 15, and was taken aback by how much she never accomplished in her 94 years.
The autumn dark is lengthening, which means the English-speaking, Judeo-Christian Holiday Season is about to split open wider than a crocodile mouth at the bottom of a baby duckling water slide. It begins with Columbus Day. No mail and the banks are closed. Much is to be said for starting slow. Then the downward hurtle is set off by Halloween, when people toss about candy, free, incognito.
Most Americans, regardless of ideology, oppose "crony capitalism" or "cronyism." Cronyism is where politicians write laws aimed at helping their favored business beneficiaries. Despite public opposition to cronyism, politicians still seek to use the legislative process to help special interests.
As the controversy builds over anything and everything relating to Barack Obama, many Republicans have come to believe that their party will prosper as a result.
Since 9/11, 34 people have been killed in America by Islamic jihadist terrorists.
God Bless America and how's everybody?
Like blaming a rape victim for her "provocative dress," many press pundits blame the Charlie Hebdo cartoonists (and the Danish cartoonists before them) for crossing "red lines," and inviting trouble. In the past few days the small community of American editorial cartoonists have been getting calls from their local media, asking for comments about self-censorship and what subjects we should be forbidden to draw in a free society.
Usually over the period of 12 months, you get an equal balance of good days and bad. On the playground of the cosmos, the scales tend to balance out. But holey moley catfish, seems like last year the good days spent the bulk of recess time hiding behind the equipment shed next to the monkey bars, and the teeter totter hardly moved what with that fat punk-bad days, grounded on his end of the board throwing rocks at squirrels.
The terrorist massacre in Paris was a fundamental assault on freedom of expression. Everyone who thinks freely, writes freely, draws freely, and snarks freely knows what it was about.
A funny thing happened on the way to a news story: ABC and NBC were again distracted by friendly noise from fellow leftwing travelers.