Tilly and her husband, Duke, recently returned from a little get-a-way in Branson, Missouri. In case some of you don’t know, Branson is open for business and they are employing every safety rule known to man to keep the visitors safe, and the theaters open.
They stayed at a nice hotel, and everything went well. They were on the first floor, just a short walk down the hall to the side door leading to the parking lot. When it was time to leave, Tilly was walking out the door of the room, pulling her suitcase, and carrying her pillow, blanket, and purse. Duke was way ahead of her and oblivious. A man in the hall saw her struggle, and offered to help her, holding the door to her room open as Tilly pulled her luggage through.
After arriving home, she eventually checked her credit card statement from the trip. But she noticed that the hotel billed her an extra $100. Speaking with the manager, he explained “Ma’am, you took the microwave with you, and beat up the cabinetry”.
“What? Oh no! We wouldn’t do that? We aren’t like that!”
“Well ma’am, the microwave was gone and it had been yanked out of the cabinet. The cabinet was damaged too!” (Oh my gosh. He doesn’t believe me!) thought Tilly. “Listen, I am 72 and my husband is 80. We don’t need a microwave.”
He eventually believed her. Tilly was worried that she could never show her face in Branson ever again!
It didn’t take long to figure it out! That nice man who held her room door open for her, that’s who did the foul deed!
Now, we accuse Tilly and Duke of secretly stashing microwaves from hotels in their shed. And Duke makes up stories of the newspaper heading, “Local couple caught in stealing ring in Branson.”
Beware. Close the door to your room when you leave the hotel.
Then there’s Myrtle’s story.
Myrtle’s husband, Basil, takes quite a few meds and vitamins including heart meds, and meds to raise his blood pressure. Myrtle’s prescription is to lower her blood pressure. While arranging their daily medicines in the little boxes, she took (ingested) her husband Basil’s meds accidently. “What made you do that?” we asked. “I have no idea, I was arranging the daily meds and instead of taking my pile, I took his! We couldn’t keep from laughing. She’s OK. We sighed.
Blame all of this on COVID-19. None of us are totally sane these days.
Greta then said, “I may as well confess what I did today.” Greta wears hearing aids. They are small, unobvious little instruments. She takes them out at night and always places them in a special dish where she will find them in the morning. Great idea, Greta. We all need to have a place for everything. But Greta woke up that morning with her hearing aids still in her ears!”
I looked in the dish where I have placed my hearing aids every night for several years, and guess what I had put in the dish.” Can you guess? “My earrings.”
It’s laughable. It really is crazy. We are either doing more strange things than in the past or we are just more honest about telling what we do.
In the meantime, if any one reading this needs a microwave, I know where you might find one!
Judi Tabler lives in Pawnee County and is a guest columnist for the Great Bend Tribune. She can be reached atjuditabler@gmail.com or juditabler@awomansview.
