Do you remember that I mentioned in the past that the scammers are out there in cyber space, waiting to catch a fish? And that we are the fish?  

Of course, they are still at it, and they will continue to stay ahead of the game, so we must be alert. Now I’m aware, but no more aware than the average citizen, but I am as vulnerable as most of you. I think I have their game figured out, and then they try some new trick. 

Here’s my latest tips from my computer chair. 

A few days ago, my computer exploded into a RED alert. Freezing up, flashing red lights and telling me that I was experiencing a virus. Ho hum. I have fallen for this before, you people, you! (said to the computer). The alert warned me, for goodness sakes, not to turn my computer off, but to immediately contact “them” (whom they were impersonating as Microsoft).

So, I did what they told me not to do immediately! I turned the computer off. Oh yes, it was not very responsive, but I pushed the button and held it. It turned off. I waited, and after a few minutes, I turned it on again. All was fine. 

In the event that this little “turn-off” procedure wouldn’t work, (but it does), I would no longer even consider entrapping myself in these arachnid webs. I would take the computer to Bauer or some other fine computer tech. The charge would be minimal compared to these sub humans’ charges. 

Plus remember. It’s a scam. Not real. Fake. Imposters. Liars. Cheats. Opportunists.

I fell for this stunt once. What on earth was the matter with my head? Ugh. I believed them and thought, “Oh no, I might lose all my information. And no matter the price.” I believed these nefarious, repugnant folks.  

Never, never, never give your credit card, Social Security number, or money in any form to any one who connects with you or calls you. It’s No. Non. Nada. Nein. Laugh, and tell them no, Joe. They hate that! Then hang up.

We receive their calls from all over the place, have you noticed? New York, Dallas, Seattle, etc. And these calls are all the same people. Hey, they have a large employee base. One can hear them talking on the phones in the background. They sound like there must be 100 little voices in separate little carrels, catching trusting lemmings during their weakest hour.  

Do not answer the phone if you don’t know anyone in those places. If you do not have a caller ID, and want to play a short little game, then follow my directions.

Pick up the phone.

Since I know Spanish, and they know I am English speaking, I answer, “Bueno?”. Pause. Silence. Confusion. “Bueno?” (Hello again, I say). You don’t have to know Spanish words. If you know German, answer that way. Whatever. Say “Chow”. Say” Spagetti-os” Say “Finsha-Gisha” Or say in a stupid voice, “ALLOOOO?”

That’ll do it!

The person on the other end hangs up. 

What happens next? Ha. Here’s the fun part!

Next call, several days later. Now I have a Spanish-speaking sub human on the line. (Phoenix, Arizona, this time) I wait for him to speak. I answer in English. “Hello” He speaks in Spanish. I don’t understand. “Hello?” The fellow hangs up.

I don’t know why I like to do this, but I do. It takes only a minute. They deserve me!

The world has always contained deceitful and crooked, mendacious, cheating human beings. We hear stories of traveling medicine shows, get rich quick schemes, and so on. And these people are clever. The devil is clever. But, due to modern technology, the fox is in the henhouse, and we “hens” are allowing them into our henhouse through the internet. They want our eggs. 

We have got to become less naïve and more aware.

And don’t forget that they do not care about you. We are numbers, and we are money sources. That’s it.

OK. So I made my case. 

Judi Tabler lives in Pawnee County and is a guest columnist for the Great Bend Tribune. She can be reached at juditabler@gmail.com or juditabler@awomansview.