Our friends who live in Northern Wisconsin just returned to their lake home after spending the winter in Florida.
Lud is a fisherman on steroids. Through the years, his favorite pastime has always been fishing. He has seriously studied his craft. Winter fishing, summer fishing; no matter as long as it was FISHING. In our college days, when we lived in the north, Fred would often fish with Lud. He describes how they — with other equally avid angler friends — would drive out on the ice, pitch camp, drill holes in the ice and perch their insulated bottoms on little stools by the hole.
Hand warmers in gloves, parkas tight around the face, they would drop their lines in the hole. Then they watched the hole for action while periodically straining the ice off the top of the water to keep the hole from freezing up again. Lud would eventually lie down on the ice.
Not my idea of fun, by the way.
Now, flash to today. Eager to get home, plant flowers, put the boat in the water, the couple arrives at their lake home. And it is late April. But, guess what? The area recently got 18 inches of fresh new snow (much to the dismay of the sun-starved locals). And since it never has warmed up, the lakes are still frozen solid.
Oh frustration! The dock cannot be put in the water, the boat is still in storage, and the yard is covered with white stuff. There are a few crazy ice fishermen out on the lake. And it’s almost May!
So what does a frustrated fisherman do? Why he cleans his garage! You see, the man can’t fish, so he has to find something to do. He says he has the cleanest, most organized garage now in the community. The lake sits there; a white, frozen blanket of snow.
We have a similar situation going on at our house. The weather has not been cooperating with the normal spring outdoor work, and Fred is frustrated. So what does a frustrated gardener do?
Why, he cleans his garage! Of course. You knew the answer! The place looks better than it has for a long time. Yes, it IS starting to look like a garage in the city ... you know, those garages where they lay a rug on the floor, and everything is neatly hanging on the wall.
Our raccoon friends have contributed to causing some of the mess. They sneaked into the garage every night, all winter. “Free food. Come and get it! Annie’s bar and grill café.”
They ripped holes in the sides of the cat food bags to get their tummies full. They pried open the metal trash can lids where the cat food had to be stored, spilled the drinking water, tipped over the birdseed can when they couldn’t manipulate the fasteners on the lid, and challenged us at every step we took to catch them.
Myrtle told us they love marshmallows. So for bait, Fred piled some marshmallows onto a can lid placed inside the cage. When the coon would (hopefully) go into the cage for the marshmallows, the door would trip, and we now would have a caged raccoon; except for one thing. It didn’t work.
The coon knew how to remain outside the cage, and reach in through the tiny, teeny cage wire to pull the lid closer to the cage in order to get the marshmallows. In defense, we pushed the cage against the wall, blocking the sides so that the coon would have to walk into the cage to trip the lever.
Did it work? Noooo. The animal pushed the cage away from the wall and the other obstructions. We propped sheet metal on the sides. He pushed those over, too.
And, what did our airhead cats do? They could care less. They’d peek out from their beds in the garage and just let the intruders take what they wanted.
After about 10 brain-stretching, mind-twisting strategies, he caught two. Go Fred! He moved the lid way to the far end and blocked the wire walls so that the coon had to go into the cage.
We have since transported them to the country, and they are probably in your neighborhood, now. You’re welcome.
And we are ready for Spring.
At least we don’t have snow.

Judi Tabler lives in Pawnee County and is a guest columnist for the Great Bend Tribune. She can be reached at bluegrasses@gmail.com. Visit her website juditabler.com.