When families gather to catch up with one another, topics may include an aunt’s knee replacement or an uncle’s heart attack.
“But there is no one talking about a family member’s depression, anxiety or schizophrenia,” said Patrick Stang, MD, medical director and staff psychiatrist at The Center for Counseling & Consultation. “Oftentimes, people don’t know about a relative’s struggles, but even if they do, they don’t talk about it.”
Since the stigma associated with talking about mental health may prevent someone with suicidal thoughts from seeking help, Dr. Stang and Kristian Pearson, also at The Center, want to share information during September, Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.
Community support is crucial and can come in many forms, such as a family doctor, clergy, family and friends, the mental-health professionals agree.
“Sometimes people won’t seek these supports on their own but The Center can offer guidance,” Dr. Stang said. “We encourage people to talk to a trusted family member or friend, and then maybe involve a therapist.
“It is helpful to have someone who will listen, or accompany you to visit with a therapist, or just be there to encourage a call to the helpline.”
When a professional learns that someone is “thinking about suicide,” a series of questions can help gauge the seriousness of the comment, Dr. Stang noted.
“With a blanket statement about suicidal thoughts, we will drill down to determine the severity of the situation. Is it just a fleeting thought? Can you share specifics? Do you have the means such as a gun or bottle of pills?”
Dr. Stang likened suicidal thoughts to a physical medical issue.
“After all, there are chest pains and then there are chest pains,” he commented. “Yes, it could be a heart attack but it could be any number of other less serious conditions.
“By talking it out, you might learn things are not as bad as you thought and that you are experiencing something that can be treated.”
Kristian Pearson, safety and onboarding coordinator at The Center, echoed many of Dr. Stang’s comments, emphasizing the importance of talking to someone.
“True strength comes from community support,” Pearson said. “If you reach out to us, we can help you connect with personal support.”
Pearson outlined some risk factors for suicide. They include: a traumatic event such as the loss of a loved one; a long-time untreated mental-health issue; and knowing a respected person who committed suicide.
“We also watch for someone who normalizes the idea of suicide – when it seems to lose its shock value,” Pearson noted. “It is not a normal solution and this normalization is a danger.”
One topic that is not always on the table is the effect a person’s suicide will have on family and friends.
“This often leads to more guilt and shame, while adding more weight to their reasons for thinking about it,” Pearson said. “It sometimes even gives them reassurance because they think family and friends would be better off without them.”
Pearson added that “we don’t moralize about the topic of suicide. A judgment of the person shuts the door to the conversation. We accept people for where they are, even if we don’t agree with them.
“Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement or that we condone what they say. We use our resources to discern if there is a crisis and then take the appropriate steps for treatment.”
The Center for Counseling & Consultation is a Community Mental Health Center serving Barton, Pawnee, Rice and Stafford counties. Professionally trained personnel offer: individual and group therapy; marriage and family counseling; community-support services; community-based services; psychosocial rehabilitation; peer support; and medication management. The confidential 24/7 crisis hotline number is 800-875-2544.
