Fear of infidelity can come from a variety of sources. Maybe you watched your parents deal with pain and a collapsed relationship as a result of infidelity. Maybe you personally have suffered because a partner was unfaithful. Or maybe you are simply disturbed by the pervasiveness of this evil, and how it's become the topic of many television shows and books.
At any rate, your fears about infidelity are not unfounded. However, just because you have ample reason to doubt the soundness of a relationship doesn't mean that you actually should doubt it.
Here are 6 things that can help you overcome your fears of infidelity:
1. Recognize that fear is not productive
Sometimes we feel that worry helps us to prevent terrible things from happening. The fact of the matter is that they will happen in spite of our anxiety over them. Realizing that harboring fear towards infidelity will do nothing to prevent it from actually happening is the first step towards overcoming your fears.
2. Avoid generalizations
Your fear of infidelity likely doesn't come from your partner himself but from past relationships, stories in movies, family history etc. This means that you are assigning attributes and actions of other people to your partner although he has done nothing to earn.
Don't generalize your partner, putting him in a group of cheaters. Choose to believe that these generalizations don't apply to him. Judge him based on his own actions, not the actions of others.
3. Express your fears
Make your partner aware of your concerns about infidelity. You should be cautious about allowing your fears to dominate every conversation but you should feel free to express your fears to your partner. Not only will this make him aware of things he might do that could trigger your fears, it will create an atmosphere of trust as you learn to confide concerns in your partner. The trust fostered by this communication will help you overcome the feeling that he will cheat on you.
4. Care for your relationship
Do what you can to fight infidelity head on. The best way to guard against infidelity is through strengthening your relationship. Go on dates, communicate, serve each other, express your love, etc. The more you develop your relationship, the more power it will have to withstand infidelity and the more confidence you will have in it.
5. Care for yourself
Do what you can to make sure you are happy yourself. Discover things outside of your relationship that bring you joy. These things may be hobbies or friends; they could be your job or volunteer opportunities.
As you develop your own independent happiness, you will realize you are not dependent on your partner. This means that your fears will be at least partially placated as you realize you are not reliant on your relationship for happiness. Knowing that you are a resilient person who has the ability to overcome challenges, will make you less fearful of tragedies such as infidelity.
6. See a counselor
Sometimes it's necessary to seek professional help. Consider talking to someone who can professionally and personally guide you through the process of overcoming your anxiety about cheating.
At any rate, your fears about infidelity are not unfounded. However, just because you have ample reason to doubt the soundness of a relationship doesn't mean that you actually should doubt it.
Here are 6 things that can help you overcome your fears of infidelity:
1. Recognize that fear is not productive
Sometimes we feel that worry helps us to prevent terrible things from happening. The fact of the matter is that they will happen in spite of our anxiety over them. Realizing that harboring fear towards infidelity will do nothing to prevent it from actually happening is the first step towards overcoming your fears.
2. Avoid generalizations
Your fear of infidelity likely doesn't come from your partner himself but from past relationships, stories in movies, family history etc. This means that you are assigning attributes and actions of other people to your partner although he has done nothing to earn.
Don't generalize your partner, putting him in a group of cheaters. Choose to believe that these generalizations don't apply to him. Judge him based on his own actions, not the actions of others.
3. Express your fears
Make your partner aware of your concerns about infidelity. You should be cautious about allowing your fears to dominate every conversation but you should feel free to express your fears to your partner. Not only will this make him aware of things he might do that could trigger your fears, it will create an atmosphere of trust as you learn to confide concerns in your partner. The trust fostered by this communication will help you overcome the feeling that he will cheat on you.
4. Care for your relationship
Do what you can to fight infidelity head on. The best way to guard against infidelity is through strengthening your relationship. Go on dates, communicate, serve each other, express your love, etc. The more you develop your relationship, the more power it will have to withstand infidelity and the more confidence you will have in it.
5. Care for yourself
Do what you can to make sure you are happy yourself. Discover things outside of your relationship that bring you joy. These things may be hobbies or friends; they could be your job or volunteer opportunities.
As you develop your own independent happiness, you will realize you are not dependent on your partner. This means that your fears will be at least partially placated as you realize you are not reliant on your relationship for happiness. Knowing that you are a resilient person who has the ability to overcome challenges, will make you less fearful of tragedies such as infidelity.
6. See a counselor
Sometimes it's necessary to seek professional help. Consider talking to someone who can professionally and personally guide you through the process of overcoming your anxiety about cheating.
