In relationships, we often hear that opposites attract and that's a good thing, like Yin and Yang, you complete each other. While opposites can complement each other, liven things up, calm things down and get us out of our comfort zones, it's not always good to be completely opposite from your significant other. In fact, there are several ways which you should not be opposite. Here are some points in which being similar is actually a good thing.
Religion
People from different religions can get along, they can even get married and have a successful marriage, but it can also be very difficult to stay strong in your religion and your marriage when your spouse does not support you. They may get mad that you spend part of your weekend at church or that certain habits they have are against your religion and you feel you cannot participate in them. When children are involved it just gets harder. How will they be raised? How can you expect them to go to church when one of their parents does not? A lot of problems can arise from being on opposite pages when it comes to religion.
Goals and dreams
If you have opposite goals and dreams than your significant other, you may have a serious problem. For example, if their dream is to travel abroad and you are a homebody, things can get tough. If your spouse does not support you in your goals, it can be discouraging. You may never achieve some of your greatest desires because you did not have the support and encouragement of the love of your life. Are you willing to give up your dreams?
Children
You need to be in the same page with your spouse on things such as the number of children you want to have and how you want to raise them. If you are dead set on 1 kid and they want 8, there is a problem. You may be able to work through the number issue, but how you want to raise your kids will always be a battle if you disagree on the method. Children need consistent discipline. Whatever technique you choose is up to you, but you both need to use the same style. Without any clear guidelines or rules, your children will grow up playing you off of each other. Make sure this is something you discuss before you have kids. If you do not have every detail worked out before the first one arrives, that is okay, you learn as you go, but the basic foundation of how you want to raise your children should be something you agree on.
Lifestyles
Perhaps you are all about flashy cars, a big house and designer clothes but your spouse prefers living in their parents basement, driving the same car since high school and wearing whatever is on sale at Wal-Mart. These may seem like cute characteristics at first, but after a while it will wear on you. If you disagree on the type of life you want to have, there's a problem. Who decides where you live? Will the one who didn't get their choice be resentful? Will you be happy living in a way that's unnatural for you? You may not be able to afford the lifestyle you want at the moment, but if you are both working towards buying your dream home together or saving money for the vacation youve planned since your wedding, that is okay. It only becomes a problem when one person spends all the money on things the other person does not agree with.
Sometimes being with someone who is the opposite of you can be a great thing. Some of my most favorite parts about my husband are things that he does that are completely opposite from me. I admire and respect him for having those characteristics.
There will always be some conflicts in your relationship, and that's okay. You can work through most problems, but there are some foundational issues in a relationship that require unison. Marriage is hard enough without having opposite views on these fundamental issues. Take the time to discuss where you stand on these topics before getting too far in your relationship.
Religion
People from different religions can get along, they can even get married and have a successful marriage, but it can also be very difficult to stay strong in your religion and your marriage when your spouse does not support you. They may get mad that you spend part of your weekend at church or that certain habits they have are against your religion and you feel you cannot participate in them. When children are involved it just gets harder. How will they be raised? How can you expect them to go to church when one of their parents does not? A lot of problems can arise from being on opposite pages when it comes to religion.
Goals and dreams
If you have opposite goals and dreams than your significant other, you may have a serious problem. For example, if their dream is to travel abroad and you are a homebody, things can get tough. If your spouse does not support you in your goals, it can be discouraging. You may never achieve some of your greatest desires because you did not have the support and encouragement of the love of your life. Are you willing to give up your dreams?
Children
You need to be in the same page with your spouse on things such as the number of children you want to have and how you want to raise them. If you are dead set on 1 kid and they want 8, there is a problem. You may be able to work through the number issue, but how you want to raise your kids will always be a battle if you disagree on the method. Children need consistent discipline. Whatever technique you choose is up to you, but you both need to use the same style. Without any clear guidelines or rules, your children will grow up playing you off of each other. Make sure this is something you discuss before you have kids. If you do not have every detail worked out before the first one arrives, that is okay, you learn as you go, but the basic foundation of how you want to raise your children should be something you agree on.
Lifestyles
Perhaps you are all about flashy cars, a big house and designer clothes but your spouse prefers living in their parents basement, driving the same car since high school and wearing whatever is on sale at Wal-Mart. These may seem like cute characteristics at first, but after a while it will wear on you. If you disagree on the type of life you want to have, there's a problem. Who decides where you live? Will the one who didn't get their choice be resentful? Will you be happy living in a way that's unnatural for you? You may not be able to afford the lifestyle you want at the moment, but if you are both working towards buying your dream home together or saving money for the vacation youve planned since your wedding, that is okay. It only becomes a problem when one person spends all the money on things the other person does not agree with.
Sometimes being with someone who is the opposite of you can be a great thing. Some of my most favorite parts about my husband are things that he does that are completely opposite from me. I admire and respect him for having those characteristics.
There will always be some conflicts in your relationship, and that's okay. You can work through most problems, but there are some foundational issues in a relationship that require unison. Marriage is hard enough without having opposite views on these fundamental issues. Take the time to discuss where you stand on these topics before getting too far in your relationship.
