Happy Friday, everybody, and God Bless America.
The New York Times announced it will refuse to print the name Washington Redskins in its sports section. The editor says the name is associated with imperial conquest, cultural genocide and racism. From now on, the newspaper will simply refer to the team as the Redskins.
Los Angeles beaches had huge waves and shark warnings Wednesday. Never poke sharks in the eyes to protect yourself. A shark will usually swim right by you in the ocean but if you embarrass him in front of his friends by poking him in the eyes, he’s got to eat you to save face.
Mexico’s president Enrique Peña Nieto addressed the California legislature Wednesday and thanked the state for welcoming immigrants from Mexico. Next month marks 50 years that California has offered Mexicans a pathway to citizenship. It’s called the San Diego Freeway.
New Yorkers objected strenuously to a poll Monday which said New York City is the least friendly city in America. For instance, last night in Times Square, two complete strangers agreed to share a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio while the other guy took the engine.
President Obama returned from his vacation Monday with the world coming apart at the seams. He’s fighting charges he’s aloof and disconnected. After his news briefing Tuesday, President Obama confidently predicted America will be out of the Ice Bucket Challenge by 2017.
The White House gave a Medal of Honor to Union Army hero Alonzo Cushing who turned back the Confederate charge and decided the battle of Gettysburg. It makes no sense. Just when Democrats have a chance to win the U.S. Senate seat in Georgia this November, they blow it.
President Obama prepared to sign the U.S. onto a U.N. climate change treaty Tuesday with no Senate vote. This on top of the Bergdahl trade, illegal Obamacare add-ons, and the IRS targeting opponents. So much for First Tee’s claim that golf teaches you to play life by the rules.
NAACP Image Award producer Charles Belk was seized on the street by Beverly Hills cops for six hours because he fit a bank robber’s description. It said tall, middle-aged, and black. Bank of America isn’t taking that $16 billion fine from the Attorney General well at all.
President Obama was reported ready Wednesday to order U.S. air strikes of ISIS positions in eastern Syria and Iraq. It was their use of Molotov cocktails that moved Obama to finally bomb the terrorists. He found out that ISIS was burning cities without paying any carbon taxes.
San Diego’s Doug McCain, who was killed fighting for ISIS, was described as an aspiring rap singer by his classmates on Tuesday. This casualty points to one conclusion. ISIS is recruiting failed rap singers to help overthrow Syria and Syria is recruiting cops from Missouri to deal with ISIS.
The Missouri Department of Insurance helped Ferguson businesses file claims for looted merchandise, broken windows and lost business Wednesday. It helped when the agitators finally left. Al Sharpton has chosen to stay out of the public eye, he’s back on MSNBC every day.
Senator Harry Reid angered a Las Vegas Asian Chamber of Commerce meeting by telling them that he was having trouble keeping his Wongs right. It never even occurred to Harry that it was offensive. It’s never difficult to spot the Baby Boomers whose fathers fought in the Pacific.
The Last of Robin Hood opens Friday starring Kevin Kline as Hollywood’s legendary star Errol Flynn. It’s about a scandalous affair he had with a 15-year-old girl, encouraged by her mother, just before he died at age 50. It was all part of Errol’s plan to raise his own wives.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.