HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how’s everybody?
President Obama’s job approval ratings held steady Monday in CNN’s latest poll. The numbers split exactly along party lines. Fifty-three percent of Americans approve of the job Obama is doing as president while the other 47 percent are being audited.
The Powerball Lottery winning numbers came up Saturday allowing someone to win six hundred million. That’s amazing. The Guinness Book of Records says it’s the biggest jackpot ever won without Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan or Mel Gibson committing adultery.
O.J. Simpson revealed Monday his Nevada cellmate is a white supremacist leader who became his pal. This turns the tables. Now that O.J. Simpson is the first black man to play softball in the Aryan Nations Prison League, it puts him up there with Jackie Robinson.
Prince Harry played in a charity polo match Friday before flying back to London and reporting for duty to his regiment. The prince is a public advocate for physical fitness. He discovered a way to instantly look thinner, and he says America already feels like home.
The Huffington Post reports a huge number of retirees enrolling in acting classes in Los Angeles. It’s too late by then. When Hollywood TV and movie producers want to cast senior citizens for a role they hire forty-five-year-olds who haven’t had any work done.
North Korea’s leader Kim Jung Un was reported Monday to be expecting a baby with a woman who is not his wife. It’s the second baby he’s had out of wedlock. There’s no one to prevent him from hanging around NBA players who tell him he can live any way he likes.
NFL owners met in Boston to discuss how to make NFL stadiums more tech-friendly for today’s fans. It’s simple. They need to place seats directly over the field so fans can catch the game out of the corner of their eye while they are staring down at their iPhones.
Oklahomans showed their usual heroism in the face of danger Monday as tornadoes hit Moore. It’s an annual assault. Just once, I’d like to see Oklahoma play the part of Germany in the spring play and let Mother Nature enjoy the role of Poland for a change.
The Weather Channel aired spectacular views of the deadly tornado over Oklahoma City. Watching this weather is mesmerizing and scary. Visiting in-laws will spend hours with their faces pressed against the windows, and if it gets too bad you have to let them in.
President Obama commented on the Oklahoma City tornado damage on Tuesday. He obviously has a lot on his mind now. The president said he’s looking into it, he vowed that folks will be held accountable and he declared that the American people expect better.
IRS official Lois Lerner invoked her Fifth Amendment rights and refused to testify to Congress about targeting conservatives. How embarrassing. Lerner is so mortified over having to cite the U.S. Constitution she ordered herself auditied for being a right-wing group.
President Obama said Friday he never knew that the IRS was targeting conservative groups last year. He said that he found out about the IRS misconduct last week from watching TV. Nothing aggravates ESPN viewers like real news coming across on the crawl.
Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky said Sunday that the White House is operating through imtimidation. Don’t he know. A year ago Ashley Judd was a movie star, the face of the Kentucky Wildcats, and preparing to run against Mitch McConnell, and today she’s a movie star, the face of past mental illness and no longer running against Mitch McConnell.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.