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HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Chinese News aired a 60-mile-long freeway jam leading into Beijing Wednesday that’s lasted 10 days.
The same thing happened in L.A. 60 years ago and China shouldn’t worry.
When the drivers run out of food and water they’ll just give up wherever they are on the road and form suburbs.
President Obama held a conference call with his economic advisers Wednesday when a thunderstorm kept him indoors at Martha’s Vineyard. Who allowed him to do this?
Calling these guys for advice during a thunderstorm is a good way to get electrocuted.
Obama was annoyed by reporters assigned to cover him at Martha’s Vineyard Wednesday as he shopped in a local seafood market.
They asked him a question about Iraq and he snapped that he was buying shrimp.
He’s really had a taste for it ever since he was in Louisiana and the Secret Service wouldn’t let him eat any.
Jimmy Carter flew to North Korea to free an American citizen the North Koreans jailed for entering the country illegally. That says it all.
North Korea has no money and cold weather and little food and Americans are sneaking in for a better life.
California’s Department of Health added pet frogs which people keep at home to the list of suspects for the salmonella outbreak. They’re the latest rage.
People are buying frogs at pet stores and kissing them hoping they’ll turn into a job with benefits.
The U.N. Human Rights Council lectured the U.S. on refugee treatment Wednesday. We aren’t so bad. Yesterday only two detentions were reported worldwide, the first guy was a Cuban who failed to escape to the United States and the second guy was a Mexican who succeeded.
U.S. Marine General James Conway said Tuesday Obama’s promise to voters to withdraw U.S. troops from Afghanistan by next July just encourages the Taliban to hold out. It was just a political promise to the voters.
Kennedy wedding vows are more binding.
John McCain won Arizona’s GOP Senate primary Tuesday after he radically changed his previous support for a pathway to citizenship for illegal aliens. It was a lesson learned.
In addition to the GOP Senate nomination, John McCain just got his one-year sobriety cake at Amnesty Anonymous.
The London Sun reported that a German man had a bullet in his head for five years and didn’t know it until a doctor found it Wednesday. They think it fell from the sky on a New Year’s Eve.
Germans fire their guns into the air every New Year’s Eve because the Allies forgot to include the sky in the terms of surrender.
(Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at