Happy Thursday, everybody, and God Bless America.
Apple announced it will include a kill switch on their next generation of iPhones in order to stay ahead of the curve. On Monday California passed a law requiring every smartphone made after this year to have a kill switch. With any luck, it’s for whenever anyone takes a Selfie.
The VMA Awards drew 14 million viewers to MTV’s live telecast Sunday. Live shows require singers to be on time. The MTV producers heard gunfire down the street from the studio 10 minutes before airtime, indicating to everyone’s relief that the rap stars had arrived.
Texas GOP governor Rick Perry’s Super PAC Tuesday began raising money for his future campaign by selling T-shirts of his mug shots from last week’s indictment. Rick Perry admits that he was once a Democrat back when he was in college but only once. He was experimenting.
The White House announced it has begun military surveillance flights over Syria in search of ISIS positions. The president has decided to aid the rebel New Syrian Army in its battle against ISIS. If you don’t know who the rebel New Syrian Army is, it’s our allies that we’ll be fighting next year.
The New York Post reports a number of Islamic terrorists in ISIS were raised in the U.S. and in Britain. They’re highly motivated. ISIS terrorists who are from London, New York and Los Angeles believe that if you martyr yourself, you go to Paradise where there is plenty of parking.
Napa Valley homes and businesses report $1 billion in damage from a six-point earthquake that hit Wine Country late Saturday night. The shaking was felt up and down the state. It was so powerful that normally excellent shooters were only able to wound Suge Knight.
Breaking Bad won its final Emmy Sunday about the chemistry teacher-turned meth cook Walter White. He was ahead of his time. Last fall, Walter buried a rival by dumping a ton of methamphetamine crystals on him and refused to dig him out until he agreed to donate to ALS.
The ALS Association thanked Hollywood stars for helping raise $50 million for research on Monday. There were no ice bucket challenges at the Emmy Awards. Anybody who wanted to feel a chill go down their spine just had to ask Jon Voight what he thinks of President Obama.
The Emmy Awards aired on NBC Monday with America’s top comedy and dramatic stars receiving the statuettes. It was also educational. People in Hollywood had no idea how serious the California drought was until David Hasselhoff got fined $50 for drooling on his shirt.
Burger King on Tuesday denied it’s moving to Canada for its far-lower corporate tax rate. The reason they’re moving is obvious to Baby Boomers. McDonald’s has just opened a restaurant in Vietnam and Burger King knows it won’t have to go to Vietnam if it’s in Canada.
Ferguson, Mo., streets remained calm after the funeral of Michael Brown on Monday no thanks to outside agitators and rioters. There’s always the risk of more casualties. At Michael Brown’s funeral service his father called for a day of quiet, which could kill Al Sharpton.
Mexico’s president paid a state visit to California Tuesday a month after Governor Brown paid a state visit to Mexico. It’s an annual exchange. Once a year California’s governor goes to Mexico to visit our jobs and once a year Mexico’s president comes to California to visit his people.
California officials toasted bilateral trade with Mexico’s president Monday. They possess huge natural resources. In addition to all the oil it drills, all the tequila it distills and beer it brews, and the gold and silver it mines, Mexico is also the world’s number-one producer of Americans.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.