BREAKING
Printing issues delay Wednesday Tribune
The Great Bend Tribune could not be printed Tuesday night and therefore no papers were delivered Wednesday, Publisher Judy Duryee announced. Subscribers can access the full electronic version of Wednesday’s Tribune online at www.gbtribune.com and the printed version will be delivered along with the Friday paper.
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America deserves to be a failure
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It was not difficult to find critics when the Orlando-area government job-service engine Workforce Central Florida said it was spending more than $70,000 of federal stimulus money to help the laid-off by handing out 6,000 satiny capes for jobless “superheroes” to “fight” “Dr. Evil Unemployment.”
“Absolutely absurd” was the reaction of a laid-off customer-service representative.
Several critics interviewed by the Orlando Sentinel noted that such an awkward program further erodes the unemployed’s fragile self-respect. WCF, though, remained convinced.
In the words of a spokeswoman, “Everyone is a superhero in the fight against unemployment.”
Urban
legend
comes
to life
Too-good-to-be-true stories have circulated for years about men who accidentally fell, posterior first, onto compressed-air nozzles and self-inflated to resemble “dough boys,” usually with fatal results.
However, in Opotiki, New Zealand, trucker Steven McCormack found himself in similar circumstances, and had it not been for quick-thinking colleagues who pulled him away, he would have been killed — as the air, puncturing a buttock, had already begun separating tissue from muscle.
McCormack was hospitalized in severe pain, but the air gradually seeped from his body — according to a doctor, in the way air “usually” seeps from a body.
(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa Fla. 33679 or go to www.newsoftheweird.com.)