Jennifer Tesch’s daughter, Kennedy, was kicked off her cheerleader squad — supporting a youth flag-football team — in Madison Heights, Mich., after complaining to her mother about the saucy language of one of the cheers in the girls’ repertoire: “Our backs ache!/Our skirts are too tight!/We shake our booties!/From left to right!”
Kennedy and Jennifer thought that was inappropriate, considering that Kennedy is 6 years old.
The team, given the chance to renounce the cheer, voted to keep it and instead to punish Kennedy for taking the dispute public.
The older the religion, the seemingly more likely its practitioners are to adopt clever workarounds to theological obligations that modern society has rendered inconvenient.
Orthodox Jews are among the most creative, as News of the Weird has demonstrated, expanding the concept of the “home” in which practitioners must remain during the Sabbath.
In September, in preparation for the Yom Kippur holy day, caffeine addicts — traditionally hard-hit by the day’s fasting requirement that prohibits ingesting anything “by mouth” — reportedly made a run on drug stores in Jewish neighborhoods in Brooklyn, N.Y., to buy caffeine suppositories.
(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa Fla. 33679 or go to www.newsoftheweird.com.)