Researchers at University of Manchester have devised a mathematical formula for the perfect handshake.
Said psychology professor Geoffrey Beattie, “Until now there has not been a guide showing people how they should shake hands.”
Professor Beattie’s work incorporates 12 key measures, including cool, dry palms; firm wrists; strong grips; eye contact; and using “three shakes.”
Can’t win
for losing
Tommy Riser of Blaine, Wash., had a rough Sept. 13.
After a bout of drinking, he crashed a truck into a utility pole, and a few minutes later, crashed his wife’s car into a guardrail trying to drive away.
Later, he retrieved his personal tow truck and drove it back to the scene, intending to tow the two crashed vehicles home.
However, a sheriff’s deputy was on hand and, noting that Riser was still tipsy, charged him with three separate DUIs.
Smart, he’s not
Theodore Davenport Jr., 53, who was wanted for robbing the same PNC Bank branch in Harrisburg, Pa., twice in the previous month, was arrested when he approached a teller at that bank to inquire about the balance in his own account.
At least he
has a fall
back career   
Bedford, Pa., district judge Charles O. Guyer was charged in 1991 with improperly favoring a defendant in his courtroom.
Police said Guyer privately offered a lenient sentence to a 21-year-old man on the condition that the man would allow Guyer to shampoo his hair.
The defendant reported the offer to authorities, and two undercover police officers, claiming to be friends of the defendant, allowed Guyer to wash their hair to gather evidence.
Guyer went on to resign in 1992 after apologizing for his conduct and agreeing to forfeit his pension benefits.
(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa Fla. 33679 or go to www.newsoftheweird.com.)