BREAKING
Police respond to report of armed suspect
Suspect now in custody; no shots fired.
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So much for law and order
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A tank and several armored vehicles with dozens of SWAT officers and a bomb robot rolled into a generally quiet Phoenix neighborhood this spring, startling the residents.
Knocking down a wall, deputies raided the home of Jesus Llovera, who was “suspected” of running a cockfighting business, and, indeed, 115 chickens were found inside, but Llovera was alone and unarmed, and his only previous connection to cockfights was a misdemeanor conviction in 2010 for attending one. “We’re going to err on the side of caution,” said Sgt. Jesse Spurgin.
Adding to neighbors’ amazement was the almost-fanciful sight — riding in the tank — of actor Steven Seagal, who had brought his “Lawman” reality TV show to Phoenix.
Free guns,
woo-hoo,
that is
sweet   
New sign-ups for higher-end Dish satellite TV systems at the Radio Shack in Hamilton, Mont., also receive free Hi-Point .380 pistols or 20-gauge shotguns — after passing a background check, paid for by the store.
The owner said his business has tripled since introducing the premium.
That’ll
be sure to
increase
in value
Bobblehead dolls may be popular baseball giveaways, but as part of the local “Green Sports Alliance” demonstrating concern for the environment, the Seattle Mariners announced that for several games this season, fans would get free bags of compost.
It is made from food and other items discarded at Mariners games.
(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa Fla. 33679 or go to www.newsoftheweird.com.)