DEAR FRIENDS AND FAMILY:
My, my. How the time flies. Here it is time once again for our annual holiday greetings letter to update you on our family.
As you may have heard, Uncle Charlie decided to “retire” from coaching football for the Jayhawks. You know, he is SO desired in the football world. I think the pressure of saying no to so many who wanted his services was a little much. Anyway, I think he was about finished in rebuilding that football team. Charlie might have been a little ill this past year because his clothes all seemed to be quite baggy on him.
Meanwhile, Grampa Bill just keeps plugging along. You know, they’ve named a stadium after him! Why anyone would want a stadium named after your whole family is beyond me but it is a nice gesture. I worry about Bill though. Running around with all of those kids all of the time, traveling, listening to that awful rap music and now they are going to San Antonio. I do hope he takes out time to go to the Alamo.
Cousin Billy just keeps winning and winning. They say he is one of the best “recruiters” in the business. (P.S. I don’t know exactly what a recruiter does but I think it is something like what those guys do in uniforms that sit around college campuses.) Anyway, Billy had an absolutely awful weekend a few weeks ago when some bullies from Kentucky abused him and his kids but they are recovering nicely and people are starting to say nice things about them again. If I were Billy I wouldn’t go near that Kentucky again!
You’ll never guess what stepson Gregg is doing now! No, he’s not in that dinky little college in South Carolina. He moved to Wichita and you wouldn’t recognize him! He wears suits all of the time and his hair is slicked back, though there is less of it. He’s got a fancy watch that he wiggles and rubs all of the time and he’s got a whole bunch of kids with him that can really bounce a ball up and down and put it in a basket! To top it off, all of them are getting on television A LOT! We are so proud of him. You would think everyone else would be too but I wonder. They keep calling him and his boys Shockers. I don’t think there is anything shocking about Gregg at all. We always knew he would make something of himself if he just got the chance.
Remember our “black sheep” of the family? Cousin Roy? If you will recall he ran off to North Carolina leaving a lot of his family and friends around here pretty unhappy. Something about unpaid bills and broken promises. Well anyway, now he and some others are involved in some kind of scandal. I guess it is about grades and not attending classes and stuff like that. You know, I always told you that someone had better keep an eye on Ol’ Roy. He could talk like an old country boy but I don’t think his heart was really in it.
Oh yes, I must not forget Andy. You do remember him? Andy moved out to these parts a couple of years ago from Philadelphia to live with a bunch of Indians. I guess they say he is a Chief though I don’t understand how just living in an Arrowhead makes you a Chief. I worry about Andy because of his weight but I must admit everyone seems to like him, even those dastardly newspaper people. They say he does more with less than anyone in the NFL. I guess I shouldn’t admit to not knowing anything but what’s the NFL? Well, back to Andy’s weight. If he is going to be a Chief I would think he will have to lose some of that weight. Did you ever see a fat Indian?
We’re SO thankful for all of the many blessings for our family dear friends and that’s about all of the news for this year.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!