Along with messages about prayer groups and pot luck dinners, this week’s church bulletin may contain a note about domestic violence.
Placing educational material in churches was one of the first projects of Ministries Against Domestic Violence, a nondenominational group of Great Bend parishioners who support the efforts of the Family Crisis Center. They’ve also distributed brochures and spoken directly to pastors about how churches can be one of the first pillars of support for families affected by domestic violence.
Since it began a few years ago, Ministries Against Domestic Violence has raised over $4,000 for the Family Crisis Center, paying for the new sign in front of its administrative office on Broadway, just north of the courthouse. Last year, members began providing meals at the center’s monthly group meetings for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.
Willy Allen and Carol Dellinger with Ministries Against Domestic Violence speak to local civic organizations, as well meeting with pastors and other church groups. The subject isn’t easy to talk about, Allen said, and sometimes people don’t want to hear about it.
“Boom! A brick wall goes up,” Allen said of the first reaction he often gets when he says he’s there to talk about domestic violence.
“You never know what the reasons are when people react,” he said. “It’s kind of like alcoholism. Someone in your family has been affected.”
Domestic violence is also like alcohol in that it’s a “silent disease,” Allen said. Family members are coached on how to keep the secret.
Church members can help by learning the signs of domestic violence, and encouraging victims to get help, Dellinger said. “We can notice the signs, and listen.”
Laura Patzner, director of the Family Crisis Center, works closely with the MADV group, which meets monthly at the center.
“One of the things that is so powerful about this group is that you challenge the silence,” Patzner told members at a recent meeting. “The powerful part of this is when someone comes in (for help) because of your group. You don’t know how many people you’ve touched.”
At that meeting, members made preparations for the next fundraiser – their third annual dinner, which will take place this Saturday at the St. Rose Auditorium. They also discussed planning a breakfast for area clergy.
“We want (ministers) to understand why it’s important,” Patzner said. “Their churches have a role to play. It’s a hugely powerful thing when your faith and your safety are supported at the same time.”
Church leaders are sometimes reluctant to encourage victims of domestic abuse and violence to leave. It goes against teaching that marriage is meant to be for a lifetime, Dellinger said.
But many ministers have realized that the problem of domestic violence is widespread, and that they have a role to play in stopping it, Patzner said.
“We’ve always had the support of our faith-based community,” she said. In fact, Catholic Social Service was involved in the Family Crisis Center from its inception, starting with the Crisis Hotline and then the women’s shelter, which took in its first family in 1981.
Patzner recalled a meeting with Father Charles Dahm, a priest who has been working with victims and speaking on domestic violence for the past 17 years.
“He was very clear that his faith was against violence, period,” she said.