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How you and your spouse can conquer conflicts over friends
It's not unlikely for your spouse and your friends to have some disagreements. Here's what you can do to make sure those conflicts don't ruin your marriage. - photo by Herb Scribner
In a marriage, it can be hard to manage your romantic relationship and your friendships. In fact, sometimes your partner may not get along with your friends, which, if long-lasting, can bring stress, anxiety and concern to a marriage, according to The Wall Street Journals Elizabeth Bernstein.

It is one thing to dislike your romantic partners family We dont choose our relatives so ultimately they shouldnt reflect on us, Bernstein reported. But what do you do if you cant stand your beloveds friends, the people he or she has handpicked to hang around?

These kind of issues between spouses most often begin when one partner behaves differently around friends, Bernstein reported. Sometimes partners also get upset because their spouse's friends hold different values than they do, or have a heavy amount of influence over them.

Its like sharing a part of a persons world when you are introduced to his or her friends. Youre seeing their past and their present, Irene S. Levine, a psychologist and professor of psychiatry at NYU School of Medicine, told The Wall Street Journal. If you see a red flag, it can be a big turnoff.

Couples also find conflict with their spouses friends because of jealousy, according to research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science in 2014.

Researchers found through two studies that one partner often felt jealous of their partners friends. They were worried their spouse had a stronger relationship with their friends than with them. Those spouses were then jealous of that platonic bond.

Thats why the studys lead researcher, Sarah Gomillion, said couples need to feel secure about their relationship so they dont feel that jealous, WSJ reported. Couples should also aim to find the good qualities in their partner's friends to show dedication to the relationship.

Be aware that it is important to have good relationships with people who are important to your partner, Gomillion told WSJ. You will feel a greater connection to your partner. And the friends can be supportive.

Conflict between a spouse and their partners friends can strengthen a relationship if the issue is resolved, according to a Focus on the Family relationship expert, Bill Maier. Couples can learn to compromise and become more flexible with eachother, he said. Compromise has been known to make people happier and strengthen their emotional bonds.

One of the challenges that newlyweds often face is how to resolve differences like this one, Maier wrote. In order for a marriage relationship to be successful, each individual needs to be willing to put their spouse's desires ahead of their own at times.

Its also important for spouses whose friends are in conflict with their partner to mediate both sides so that ones friends and ones spouse work out their issues together, Maureen Salamon wrote for CNN.

If the conflict is a low-level irritation (she's too loud; he doesn't like to hang out with crowds) but isn't on the level of a betrayal or dramatic event, tell your friends and partner that while you love and respect them, both relationships are important to you and they'll have to learn to get along, she wrote.