There’s a sheet of slogans in my desk drawer that I grab for now and then.

 I keep them close, because they help me when I need some wisdom; a pearl or two. Each is rich and says much with few words. We all have our favorites. “One day at a time,” “It is what it is,” “If God is for me, who can be against me,” “When one door closes, another opens.”

But, how about the funny ones? You know, the ones that have truth in them, but are so ridiculous and true that they make us laugh? Here’s some I bet you haven’t heard before. 

“We are all here, because we are not all there.” (Obviously, a group of people who have gotten together to bungee jump!)

“You are not dysfunctional, you just function differently”.( I think this fits many of us.)

“I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that you’re not in charge. The bad news is that you’re not in charge.” (I like the second part)

Friends are Gods apology for your relatives. (Don’t show this to your relatives)

 Most of the time when you are crying, nobody notices your tears, When you are worried, nobody feels your pain, When you are happy, nobody sees your smile, but when you fart just one time ... (This is a comment for my husband!) 

I don’t think inside the box, and I don’t think outside of the box, I don’t even know where the box is… (But, it sounds good, doesn’t it?)

When nothing is going right, go left. 

Common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it the most never use it. (We are all guilty at times of the first part, no?)

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door! (Well, I don’t know. I could try and sure slap someone in the face!)

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere. (And its getting larger every day) 

When you fall, I will be there to catch you. With love, the floor.

Don’t worry if plan A fails; there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. (By the letter G, I would be slapping my own face!)

IF you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you, for better or for worse, get a dog. 

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. 

Smile while you still have teeth. (Please don’t smile too wide until you look in the mirror) 

Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.

And here is my favorite slogan of all. “ A cookie a day keeps the sadness away – An entire jar of cookies a day, brings it back.”

I hope you got a laugh. I laughed all the way through this research. And how is your day going?

Judi Tabler lives in Pawnee County and is a guest columnist for the Great Bend Tribune. She can be reached at juditabler@gmail.com or juditabler@awomansview.