In a pre-trial motion in a Chicago court case, the defense lawyer for Exotic Motors Inc., which is being sued over car repairs, complained about plaintiffs’ lawyers’ unusual decision to permit a female paralegal to sit at their courtroom table, especially since she is a “large-breasted woman.”
Her “sole purpose” at the table, lamented defense lawyer Thomas Gooch, was “to draw the attention of the jury,” presumably in favor of the plaintiffs.
Gooch later told the Chicago Daily Law Bulletin that he was concerned only with her “qualifications” to sit at the table.
This Memorial Day weekend was a time of reflection for the residents of Long Island N.Y.’s Shelter Island, who were honoring a soldier from the neighborhood who had recently been killed in Afghanistan.
The local American Legion placed new, heavy-duty American flags on telephone poles along a parade route, but only afterward was informed that Long Island Power Authority, which owns the poles, is required by state law to charge an unwaivable rental fee for the poles.
Principal Terry Eisenbarth apologized to parents and children at Washington Elementary School in Mount Vernon, Iowa, and promised to stop his ritual “whammies,” in which he summons kids on their birthdays to his office, sings “Happy Birthday” to them, and ceremonially spanks the child’s backside with a cushioned hockey stick (with the number of whacks equaling the child’s age).
(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa Fla. 33679 or go to www.newsoftheweird.com.)