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Charlie's Inside Corner: Pugilistic Pugnacity
spt ap mayweatherfight

Step right up you purveyors of pugilistic pugnacity. Your time has come. Saturday night. In Las Vegas. THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY! Manny Pacquiao vs. Floyd Mayweather, Jr.  The Fight of the Century? Don’t we have one of these every 2-3 years or so or does it just seem that way to me?  Regardless, the boxing promoters are hyping us at full bore!

Boxing promoters must be the direct descendants of P.T. Barnum who offered, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” Only professional wrestling has more mastered the art of hyperbole than boxing. A ringside seat will cost you a cool $41,000 or you can simply attend the weigh-in ceremony-you know, the one where both fighters try to “stare down” the other-and pay $150, the first time a fee has ever been charged for that which , I am sure, prompted promoters from the past to smack their foreheads and scream, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Floyd Mayweather, Jr. is expected to receive a massive $180 million payday which answers our question of  “why would anyone be a boxer?” Still, evidence exists that boxing is not good for one’s brain. Listen to these words from former boxer Thomas “Hit Man” Hearns when talking about Mayweather:, “Mayweather has no authority to be Mayweather. He has to be defensive, but he has to be offensive, too. People will be offended if he doesn’t. People will lose their minds.” Maybe, just maybe, Hearns  has lost a part of his mind!

Mayweather prides himself on winning while not getting hit. Pacquiao USED to be a solid puncher, knocking out 38 of his 64 opponents. That was a long time ago. The odds are this fight will go the full twelve rounds.  Probably mostly twelve BORING rounds while Pacquaio chases Mayweather around the ring, unable to ever catch him. When it’s over, both fighters will raise their gloves in the air above their heads and claim victory and the judges will give us a split decision, setting us all up for another FIGHT OF THE CENTURY in a year or so.

So if you’ve plunked down $41,000 and will be at ringside at MGM Grand in Las Vegas Saturday night or if you paid the $150 to watch two gladiators get weighed and stare at each other or if you’ve simply paid your cable company an exhorbitant fee to watch it from the comfort of your home, know that you have contributed to the greatest payday in boxing history.

Perhaps the words of Roberto Duran, another boxer, are most fitting here. These words from Duran in a fight against Sugar Ray Leonard were uttered as he decided not to continue fighting, accepting defeat.  “No mas, No mas.”

Speaking of pugilistic pugnacity, how about our first-place KC Royals? They’ve had more takedowns than an MMA fighter! A ringside seat won’t cost you $41,000 either!
The Jayhawks really only have one quarterback and he went down with a knee injury in the Spring game when tackled , wrongly, by a walk-on defensive back. That kind of belies the words of coach David Beaty when he said, after taking the head job, “We can only go up from here.”
If you couldn’t afford a ticket to the Pacquaio-Mayweather fight take heart. You can still sit at home this weekend and watch the NFL draft on television. Or you could catch a couple of night crawlers and watch them race down your driveway. The enjoyment level of both is about the same!
The Green Bay Packers have announced that they will finally retire Brett Favre’s No. 4 jersey this Thanksgiving. What are the odds that Favre will unretired it before Christmas?
I wonder what Dennis Rodman is doing? I agree with Yogi Berra. He said, “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”

Charles Tabler is a contributing writer from Larned.