College football coaches have recently released the signings of their latest group of superstars. Every coach got every player he wanted. If the press releases hold true, EVERY football team in the country will be playing for a national championship in just a couple of years!
My less-than-mathematical-mind can’t sort out how every coach got every signee that he wanted. Didn’t some of them want the same running back? The same hulking offensive tackle? Just once I would like to see a coach admit, “We stunk. We got beat out by most schools. This signing class is probably going to lead us to the bottom of the standings! What’s your sister doing? Can she play quarterback?”
That, of course, would get Mr. Coach fired now, rather than a season-or-so later when this signing class actually stumbles and fumbles its’ way onto the football field in front of a half-filled stadium.
This years’ group of recruits gives a lot of ammunition for my “All Name Team.” It’s going to be hard to pick just a starting eleven!
Big 12 fans will love this one: “Lil’ Jordan Humphrey.” He’s not little. A 6-5 running back that weighs in at 200 lbs. He has signed with Texas.
Our friends to the North, Nebraska, counter with Dicaprio Bootle, a cornerback. Not sure if the movies or the NFL are in his future but he sounds like a star!
Kentucky signee, Dakota Holtzclaw, sounds like some kind of weed from the Great Plains. Maybe he’s related to the Kansas “Devil’s Claw.”
I’m worried about Auburn commit Broadarious Hamm. With a name like that will he be prone to end zone celebrations? Hamming it up and drawing unsportsmanlike penalties?
Big 12 fans will love rooting against West Virginia signee Zach Sandwisch. Is that ham and cheese? Let’s hope he’s not a hot dog!
My friends in Wisconsin are bragging about recent commit Tyler Biadasz. Badger fans are hoping he makes the Badger defense a bunch of Biadaszs!
I’m not sure where Southern Mississippi plans to play him but another one of those Dakotas has showed up. Dakota Cru Birdyshaw has signed. Can’t wait to hear the television announcers bungle that name!
I’ve got to admit that there are a few names out there that I’m worried about. The names just don’t fit my image of what a football player should be. California has signed Gentle Williams. Big 12 hopeful Brigham Young counters with a junior college transfer named Handsome Tanielu. Not to be outdone, Stanford signed Bo Peek. I’m not sure if he’s allowed to bring his sheep to practice with him or not!
It’s a whole new crop of names with which to twist your tongue! Perhaps none of them compare to my all-time favorite football name from the National Football League, Fair Hooker. If you can make it in the NFL with that name, then all of these new guys have a shot!
Right now, everybody’s happy. Coaches, players, fans and alumni. Everybody has signed a bunch of All-Americans. Just wait until they snap the football!