Like most of you, I’ve been tuning into the 31st Olympiad from Rio de Janeiro. There are some things I don’t understand. You probably don’t have these weird thoughts but I do.
Why don’t the networks that bring us the Olympics provide more competition and less “fluff”? Human interest stories over actual competition just doesn’t cut it. I would rather see the Spaniards take on the Greeks in volleyball than hear how a weightlifter from Estonia overcame a broken leg to become an Olympic athlete. Am I alone?
Why does most of the world whistle when they disapprove rather than simply “boo”? Booing is better for the lungs. Besides, I can’t whistle!
Why do all of the beach volleyball players wear sunglasses? I know that playing a game of casual beach volleyball is all about looking “cool” on the beach but this is real competition! Heads sweat and it is difficult to keep those lenses clean!
Why do the divers run to get into a hot tub after exiting the pool? Is the pool water THAT cold?
How can the female gymnasts wear those tight-fitting costumes WITHOUT splitting a seam while whirling and twirling?
Staying with the gymnasts, do ALL female gymnasts have to be only 3’ 10”? It certainly looks that way!
How does a diver leap from thirty feet in the air and hit the water WITHOUT making a splash? I’ve checked my dives and the waves are HUGE!
Why do the networks trot out all of their tired, worn announcers for these big events? Most of them are not sports announcers and ARE NOT up to speed on current events in the world of sports.
Why do swimmers need an on-duty lifeguard? Can’t they be expected to be able to swim to the edge of the pool? What about all of those guys standing around in the blazers and ties? One behind each starting block and numerous of them walking the side of the pool. Are they looking for lost swim goggles or do they have an official function?
Why do all of the Eastern European women athletes make you wonder if they are really men?
Why do the television sideline announcers run up to an athlete and stick a microphone in their face immediately after they have completed an event and expect them to say something lucid or inspiring while they are still trying to catch their breath?
Why does Africa have so many great distance runners but no sprinters or basketball players or, divers for that matter?
Why do we always hear that the host city of the Olympics “won’t be ready, it will be a disaster, crime is widespread”, but it never happens that way?
Why is it in Olympic boxing that you can never know who the winner is UNTIL the judges announce their decision. Is any sport more convoluted in their judging than boxing? Okay, maybe gymnastics.
By the way, one thing I AM NOT confused about is that my favorite uniforms are worn by the female Beach Volleyball contestants!
Charles Tabler is a contributing writer from Larned. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.