Does your family have a tradition that has continued for many, many years? As a child I knew that Christmas Eve was spent at the Rasmussen’s for a Swedish supper, Christmas morning was at our own house and later on Christmas Day we were at Grandma Pachta’s house for roast duck and dumplings. Many of our family members lived within 15 miles of each other so it all worked. Eventually the traditions had to change. However, there is still someone who brings Lutfisk to the family Christmas gathering!
Traditions often give us a feeling that even though some things have changed, there are still things that we know will always be the same. Traditions can give us that sense of security that everything is going to be all right.
In a Utah State University Extension publication, “Strengthening Family Ties - A Workbook of Activities Designed to Strengthen Family Relationships,” there are activities related to five areas of family functioning including: Building Trust, Family Support, Kindness, Communication, and Working Together.
One activity is to identify what family traditions exist and decide what new ones might be started to ensure family stability.
1. Give everyone in your family a piece of paper and ask them to list the traditions in your family. These can include some things done every day and others done only once a year.
2. Then compare lists. It might be surprising to hear what traditions others think are important.
3. Evaluate. Are there some everyone would like to do more? Are there some that are no longer enjoyable.
4. Add to the list. Is there something you would like to become a new tradition? Is there anything you would like your family to be known for? Starting new traditions can be especially important when the family situation has changed – such as when a new step-family has been formed.
Continue to re-evaluate. Over the years there may be changes that need to be made. Make sure that your family does not outgrow the tradition. Research is clear that children who feel securely attached and have strong family relationships have healthier relationships and better mental health later in life.
Berny Unruh is the Family and Community Wellness Agent for the Cottonwood Extension District. She can be reached at 785-628-9430 or at bunruh@ksu.edu.
