Have you noticed all the Christmas in July events going on right now? After all, we are past half way, in the middle of summer, closing in on the fall. I guess that the “Countdown to Christmas” has now begun, and I don’t want to count down!

First, please understand. I am not knocking local businesses that are promoting Christmas in July. 

The promotions and sales that are taking place locally, promoting this calendar event, are fun and certainly innovative. Christmas sales in July traditionally perk up a dull retail time, and give us an excuse to shop. Hurrah for retail’s efforts. I love the idea of sales and buying some items to put away for later. And yes, I will put them away, and forget that I ever bought them. Isn’t that what we do, after all?

But, then there’s the “other” me, the old curmudgeon. Truthfully, I dread Christmas right now. I am not emotionally prepared to recognize the elephant that will soon be in the room. Let’s just say, I’m not stable regarding Christmas, yet. 

I turned on a shopping channel this morning, and smiled a bit. They were promoting over-sized, thick, soft blanket-things sewn into a put-on garment to wear like the blankets that they are. Each blanket was designed to look like a Santa Clause suit, belt and all, or even an elf. I don’t recall a reindeer, but I bet there was one. They were absolutely the ugliest things ever, and the people under them looked like bloated Smurfs. Each was promoted as a winter cuddle item.

The sales staff were enthusiastic and full of energy as they took turns fawning over this ugly, comfort garment, and I must give them credit for keeping their smiling lips and eyes looking genuinely in tune, exuding delight as they talked on about how comfy and convenient these silly-looking blanket Santas would be in the cold winter. 

I watched closely, but they didn’t give away any true feelings except for a few stifled laughs. Wouldn’t you just love to watch when the segment is over and hear their comments? 

I enjoy when the models are showing the clothes. I like clothes. Especially of interest are the fashions, and style combinations, showing us how we would look in each item. Sure. Yeah. Right. 

After all, these lovely gals are professional, knowing how to pose, turn, place their legs just so, turn around without tripping over their feet, and keeping a winning smile on their face. There’s no spinach caught between their teeth; no tags sticking out the neck of the shirt. And, no doubt, most clothing items are not something that the model would select for herself! Sometimes these girls don’t hide their opinions as well as they would hope.

I imagine them after a work day, donning jeans with the knees peeking out the holes, T-shirts with various slogans, and ball caps covering their hair, bounding out of the studio! 

Now, back to Christmas in July.

Next, I tuned to the Hallmark channel. I enjoy this channel. The romantic stories are my faves! A movie  was playing; the Christmas theme being the focus of the story in which the romance was realized. Perfect homes, perfect clothes, perfect trees, and as the story progressed, the background music was playing “Bells on bobtails ring...”

Toooo early! It made me want to gag! There’s nothing worse for my ears than hearing “Jingle Bells” when the temperature outside is in the 90s and Christmas is yet months away.

I am not ready for this presentation of a “Countdown to Christmas” just yet. I will come around, just as you all will. Just not yet.

Happy shopping! Whatever you do, don’t forget where you hide your Christmas purchases.

Judi Tabler lives in Pawnee County and is a guest columnist for the Great Bend Tribune. She can be reached at juditabler@gmail.com or juditabler@awomansview.