As a start to the New Year, I want to address the thoughts where our, ahem, older generation have now arrived. Don’t laugh, you younger whipper-snappers. Your time will come. We were always young too ... then suddenly, like a flash, we weren’t. 

Here are some thoughts of our older age:

• Having plans sounds like a good idea until you realize you need to put on clothes (and make-up perhaps?) to leave the house. 

• It’s weird being the same age as old people. 

• I see people my age jogging six miles and doing the cross trainer for an hour. I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

• If you cannot think of a word, say, “I forgot the English word for it.” That way, the person will think you’re bilingual instead of just forgetful.

• When you look in the mirror and distinctly see your mother looking back at you, don’t be surprised. It’s happening to many of us. 

Look at your wrinkled arms. They are your mother’s. 

• You don’t realize how old you are until you squat down in the grocery store to reach a can, and you can’t get back up. (P.S. the only way is to get on your knees, crawl to your cart for support, and then slowly get up.)

• You realize that “your” person inside is only 29 years old, and that your “attached” body is not cooperating with your self-image.

• Clerks and waitresses tend to call you honey, and dear. You must come to terms that it’s not because they like you a lot. Well, maybe they do, but those names are common when addressing the “aged.”

• My beautician remarked that she beautifies many older women, but “they don’t know that they are old.” That’s funny because suddenly I do know it. 

• We have accepted who we are, what we are, how we look.

• We don’t care much what someone else might “think” about us. And as a result, we have to silence our tongues a bit more because we say what we think.  But then we say it anyway.

• Balancing on one leg in front of the bathroom sink while brushing the teeth is not easy. We tip over. We didn’t use to do that.

• Talking about our aches and pains is fun. It’s not boring to us.

• Maybe correctional plastic surgery is a good idea, after all. Dolly Parton says, “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap!” She’s kidding. It looks tempting.

• When you cannot remember a person’s name, like your granddaughter or her boyfriend, look off into space and begin to recite the alphabet in your mind. Don’t recite it out loud, whatever you do!  

• I read quotes saying that “the glory of age is beauty of gray hair.” Balderdash!  Gray hair is stubborn. It doesn’t curl or do what you style it to do. Dye makes it more manageable, unless of course, you happen to have beautiful gray hair. Then just let it stick out every which way.

• And last. We are happy. We now can spoil our grandchildren and eat pie. We can have a glass of wine at 5 o’clock if we wish. And we can revel in our having lived this long through the best years in America.

Now you know what we think.

Judi Tabler lives in Pawnee County and is a guest columnist for the Great Bend Tribune. She can be reached at juditabler@gmail.com or juditabler@awomansview.