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HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Governor Jerry Brown signed 11 gun control bills, tightening rules on ownership, storage and ammunition in California. This is way off base. Californians know from personal experience that guns don’t kill people, husbands who come home early kill people.
The Los Angeles Dodgers played the St. Louis Cardinals all this week for the National League title. It’s two great traditions. The concession stands at Busch Stadium sell U.S. flag lapel pins while the Dodger Stadium vendors sell a foam finger that flashes gang signs.
Christmas Eve air travel reservations were reported way up by airlines Tuesday and back to normal. The Bible says the infant Jesus was surrounded in the stable by sheep and pigs and cows. We commemorate the event on Christmas Day by inviting our relatives.
Rory McElroy broke up with tennis star Caroline Wozniacki after he played golf with Bill Clinton in Ireland Sunday. He’d rather work on his golf and date around. So you see, it doesn’t take a government ad campaign to persuade young men to enroll in Clinton Care.
President Obama in an interview Tuesday urged the Washington Redskins to change their nickname. Thank goodness no one is asking Congress for action. John Boehner and Harry Reid would settle upon a compromise solution and cancel the entire NFL season.
The National Congress of American Indians convened in Tulsa Sunday. The situation is volatile nationally. A new poll said 90 percent of Indians are not offended by the Washington Redskins but one 100 percent of New Yorkers are offended by the Giants
House Republicans met in the Capitol to strategize Tuesday in the chamber guarded by a statue of Will Rogers. It’s only right. No one told national jokes better than Will Rogers, and for the last week no one’s been a better national joke than House Republicans.
Iran assured Western powers in Geneva Tuesday they’re not manufacturing nuclear weapons in their atomic factories. This is tricky for Iran. If there’s one thing that’s sure to provoke the U.S. it’s a country that could have weapons of mass destruction that doesn’t.
The Department of Health issued an obesity warning last week forecasting that 40 percent of Americans will be morbidly obese 15 years from now. That’s bad news. On the brighter side if you’re lost in the wilderness you’ll be a lot easier to spot by satellite.
The Nobel Prize for Economics was awarded to three U.S. professors for discoveries that changed how firms invest long-term. The economists devised a formula for strategic investments which ensures a big surplus to win the award. President Obama finished last.
President Obama refused GOP offers to raise the debt ceiling and end the shutdown Monday. His next move may have been tipped. For a few hours Saturday an EBT card glitch erased all spending limits and the HHS programmer was nearly fired for jumping the gun.
The Supreme Court heard arguments over the University of Michigan’s ban on racial preferences in enrollment. The logic is inarguable. If a white guy and a black guy score the same on their entrance exam, tie goes to the guy with the 400-year head start.
Governor Andrew Cuomo opened the Statue of Liberty to the public Monday. He said the state of New York will pay its $80,000-a-day operating expense. The statue was a gift from France and the surprise is that both arms aren’t raised in the air.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at