HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
The Discovery Channel welcomed President Obama to a taping of Mythbusters Monday.
The show tests popular science myths to see if they’re true.
Obama wants to know whether the unemployment rate is still Bush’s fault, or if corporations are refusing to hire because he’s black.
Obama defended health care reform in his Ohio speech Sunday.
He’s adjusting to conditions. His big applause line used to be that health care should be universal in a country as rich as America, and then about a year ago it started getting big laughs.
The New York Times magazine ran a profile piece on Obama Sunday which dissected his personality.
It says he’s grimly serious about what he sees as his historic mission.
Obama can’t laugh at himself because that would be racist.
New York’s governor debate Monday forced Democrats and Republicans to include five minor party candidates, featuring a hooker madam and at least two socialists.
However, serious New Yorkers face only two choices.
Do they move to Texas or Florida?
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill Tuesday requiring California businesses to show they don’t support slavery.
Why now? This may be the wrong time to force Californians to choose between their consciences and three T-shirts for $18.
Nevada GOP Senate candidate Sharron Angle told a classroom of Hispanic kids Monday that some of them looked Asian to her.
It’s an understandable mistake. She wasn’t looking at the schoolchildren’s faces when she said that, she was looking at their math scores.  
Sarah Palin launched a Tea Party campaign bus tour of America Monday. She will stop and speak to crowds in 15 states.
Her family tree has Franklin D. Roosevelt and Princess Diana as her ninth cousins, so she’s genetically pre-disposed to be hell on wheels.
Alaskan GOP Senate candidate Joe Miller suggested Monday that the U.S. copy East Germany in building a wall with Mexico to keep out illegal aliens.
Technology has a better solution.
All we need is an electronic message board that flashes the unemployment rate on our side of the fence and we can save everybody a needless errand.
Mexico began construction Monday on a fence along its border with Guatemala to keep out illegal aliens who sneak into Mexico.
It’s an outrage.
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer just filed a lawsuit against the Mexican government for copyright violation.
Somali pirate Abduwali Muse is on trial in New York after being captured at sea by the U.S. Navy last year.
He’ll be tough to convict.
His jury consultant will have no trouble finding 12 people who have downloaded songs and movies illegally.
(Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.)