BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Joseph Kennedy III filed for Congress Tuesday for the seat left by Barney Frank.
He’s RFK’s grandson and Teddy’s nephew.
Young Joe is a Middlesex County prosecutor, and only someone from Middlesex can bridge the gap between the Kennedys and Barney Frank.
President Obama attended a fund raising dinner in Beverly Hills Wednesday hosted by movie comedian Will Ferrell. It was a hot ticket.
People in Hollywood paid $40,000 each to have dinner with a comedian who can get a picture green-lighted.
Obama choppered from L.A. Airport to a secret landing pad near Century City to avoid church protesters.
Workers spread foam on the landing pad.
It was the second time in a week Obama turned a first amendment issue into a contraceptive issue.
Obama stayed at the Beverly Hilton while in Los Angeles Wednesday.
They are still cleaning up after the Grammys.
Whitney Houston’s two bodyguards were still at the hotel and got arrested when they tried to get a job protecting the president during his bath.
U.S. intelligence chiefs told Congress of the threat posed by Iran Tuesday.
Apparently Iran has all it needs to convert uranium to nuclear bombs.
They said the only thing missing was the recipe and fortunately Albert Einstein lost his cooking show when he died.
Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum all vowed to eliminate porn Monday during speeches.
They’re flirting with anarchy.
Gallup just released a poll showing that in a head-to-head match-up 80 percent of Americans prefer the Internet to government.
Romney spoke at his hometown high school gym in Michigan Thursday where a few of his old girlfriends showed up and identified themselves.
Nothing ever happened between them. There’s no time get a gal in trouble when you park in the middle of the road.
Texas Gov. Rick Perry formed a political action committee Friday that can raise cash for future campaigns.
He’s determined to do bigger and better things.
Rick Perry told Fox News if he can’t get elected in the year 2012, he’ll run again in four years, in the year 6012.
Iran cut off oil exports to its six biggest European customers Tuesday in retaliation for the EU’s vow to stop buying oil from Iran.
Oil prices soared.
Gasoline is so expensive in L.A. that police pulled over a van on the freeway yesterday with 50 legal Americans in it.
NBC just ordered a new series about “Silence of the Lambs” killer Hannibal Lector, who is an urbane cannibal who coaches FBI profilers from behind bars.
Keeping him fed is no problem.
Whoever Donald Trump fires the previous hour is tossed right into the cage.
George Washington’s battles will be celebrated at Mount Vernon on Monday.
He won three battles, in 1754 over sleeping French troops, in 1776 over sleeping Hessian troops and in 1781 when a French fleet fleeing a hurricane just happened to pass by Yorktown.
It’s great to be good, but it’s better to be lucky if you want to be the Father of Your Country.
(Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.)