HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?   
President Obama signed a bill extending tax cuts for the rich Friday.
He hopes to win reelection by governing from the middle as Bush and Clinton did. Now all he needs to do is invade the wrong country or get caught in a sex scandal and he’s in for another six years.   
Barbra Streisand led all movie stars in slamming President Obama for extending tax cuts for the rich.
It’s a massive and sudden turnaround.
At Beverly Hills AA meetings this week, people stopped blaming Bush for their alcoholism and started blaming Obama.
Livermore Lab said Thursday that Los Angeles can survive a nuclear attack launched next year. It’ll help Democrats.
Obama would look pretty smart for slapping a 10 percent tax on tanning booths just before L.A. became the world’s largest tanning booth.   
The Weather Channel aired footage of icestorms and freezing weather from Texas to Florida last week. Shelter is vital.
Southern Baptist ministers are very concerned because their congregations are starting to like some of the things they say about Hell.
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was released from jail and placed under house arrest Thursday.
No one cares if he uses a computer anymore.
The State Department announced it’s finally solved the embarrassing WikiLeaks problem by using WikiDepends.
Senate Republicans pushed hard Friday to pass a military supplementary spending bill. It funds the War on Terror.
Obama just unveiled a plan to shut down Guantanamo for good, he’s going to turn it into a small business and let the economy do the rest.   
Harry Reid pushed the DREAM Act on Friday to grant citizenship to children of illegal aliens. The debate runs along partisan lines.
Democrats say the DREAM Act will result in a greater America, while Republicans say it will result in Greater Mexico.
The Discovery Channel will air a documentary about Michael Jackson’s coroner’s report this week. It shows that when he died he was on Valium, Xanax, Prozac, Zoloft, Dilaudid, Demerol, and the anesthesia Propofol.
This explains why the FAA was notified every time the casket was moved.
(Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.)